


A Knight to Remember

by WishaDream



Series: Lena in Limbo (part 3 in supercorp series) [1]
Category: Merlin (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), supercorp - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe-Merlin, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Awesome Morgana (Merlin), Being Lost, Evil Morgana (Merlin), F/F, Finding herself, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good Morgana (Merlin), Kissing, Lesbian Morgana (Merlin), Lost Love, Love, Mixed Emotions, Romance, Sorry Not Sorry, Soulmates, True Love, a happy ending if you squint hard enough, am i bitter about morganas treatment in merlin, am i upset about the ending, and unlike wiht gwen there was no one left to show morgana any kindness, but okay very sorry, but whose keeping track, cliffhanger?, everyone turning on her, going to end with words "to be continued", hides in shame, i believe the visions she showed gwen in the final season to break her, i just think of it like a dream where at points there are sudden time skips, i see so many parallels between morgana and lena it scares me, i was just trying something new to fit with my vision for the story, inspite of the darkness, is how it felt for morgana, kara is a knight in camelot, kara is kara of house zorel, kind of written with just major scenes focusedon, lena in limbo, lena lost in mental limbo, more like her life, morgana is lena luthor, no one left to try to pull her back to the light, not as such a really linear story i guess, power or love, realizing her feelings, saving lena's soul, she loved that dragon so much because it was the only one that continued to love her, sorry it that's confusing or jarring, they better not do her wrong like they did morgana, think of this as saving lena's soul that we were promised, though it does go in a straight line, what does morgana want, who's going to save me, why am I this way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26068888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishaDream/pseuds/WishaDream
Summary: A new knight has come to Camelot. A blonde haired beauty that shakes things up, especially in the heart of one Morgana La Fey.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Morgana (Merlin)
Series: Lena in Limbo (part 3 in supercorp series) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892470
Comments: 37
Kudos: 167





	1. Episode One

**Author's Note:**

> For those not in the know, this is picking up where this story left off https://archiveofourown.org/series/1811527  
> It is set in a dream/limbo setting where Lena is Morgana during the time of Camelot.  
> The story loosely follows the series, very loosely, with the new character of Kara influencing events. Many of the scenes take place between some of the episodes in the BBC show, or reference events. But it does not really follow the series timeline, it's more like the series inspires it. Think of it as a re imagining of the series in order to tell this particular story.  
> It's been awhile since I watched Merlin, and I never actually finished the final season. Not after they gas lighted Morgana through the whole time skip. I was already upset enough about how they had done her wrong up till then and I just couldn't take anymore. This is my attempt at rectifying all that.

Camelot’s grey stone structure rose high into the sky. It could be seen for miles around on its eastern side where farm land filled the rolling hills. Not much of the structure could be seen on the western side which was dense with forest that stretched off into the horizon.

The east side of Camelot’s fair kingdom had been tamed, but the western side was still wild, said to be filled with monsters, fey, and all manner of nightmares. It was also said to be where magic still thrived, though the dark arts had been outlawed in Camelot for years.

Even knowing all this, Morgana took her horse riding through the dense forest. The tall green trees rising above her, in her mind they rose even taller than Camelot.

Green moss covered the forest floor, muffling the hoof beats of her mighty steed as they road through the wood.

The reason for the ride that day was because of the aching loneliness she felt. Her best friend, the girl she’d thought was her best friend, was too busy mooning over a knight called Lancelot to even remember Morgana existed.

This meant Morgana was spending a lot more time alone, which for most people was not that big a deal. For her it meant being alone with her thoughts and her thoughts were not a pleasant place to visit. They were dark and foreboding and spoke of secrets which she did not wish to search out.

In order to distract herself from such things she had developed a few habits. One of them being riding her horse, which kept her mind focused on the task at hand, for if it wandered she risked a broken neck or worse.

That day when the whispers came she went to the stables and had her horse saddled.

Her dark hair whipped around the pale skin of her face as she leaned into the horses’ body, feeling the movement of its muscles in her own body as it sped through the forest. Up ahead she spotted a break in the tree line, her lips curling with a smile as she edged the horse on. As they broke through she leaned back, spreading her arms wide as she let the winds of the open plain wash over her. As she did her hair whipped around her like dark tendrils of magic

Magic. Her heart raced at the word.

The king of Camelot, Uther Pendragon, her guardian, had outlawed all forms of magic: spells, potions, even herbal remedies.

He was the sort of man who got angry at things he feared. Things he didn’t understand. On occasion Morgana would try to remind him that not all magic was bad, some could be used to help people, to help the residents of Camelot, but he was set in his ways.

Her jaw flexed as she recalled this, her jawline sharpening at the memory of their last discussion/fight about magic.

Why couldn’t she make him understand?

More curious to her was why she couldn’t let the subject go. Why she was so drawn to the mystic and the secrets it held.

Her horse broke her from such thoughts as it let out a startled cry before it shook beneath her, jostling her as she grabbed the saddle before she could be knocked off. She grabbed it just in time as the horse let out another panicked cry before running full tilt across the open plain.

“Midnight, stop!”

She tried to pull at the reins but the animal pulled away, panic causing it to forget its training.

She felt her own panic rise as she looked ahead at the line of trees rushing towards them. If the horse kept running at this speed it was sure to lose its footing or run her right under a tree. She pulled the reigns harder, the lines of her neck visible with the strain of using her whole body to pull. The horse was stronger.

From her sideline she saw a glimmer of light. There running alongside her a knight in shining armor galloped across the empty space, running parallel to Morgana’s horse. When the knight was close enough he reached out, grabbing the reigns of Morgana’s horse, pulling at them as he turned the creature’s head with his own horse, trying to turn them both in an arc away from the woods. The horse fought at first but eventually turned with the knight’s steed as the horses galloped along the edge of the woods for a time before the knight was able to pull both horses to stop.

Morgana’s heart was still racing as she felt her body relax into the saddle. The knight was making calming sounds to the horse as he petted its head. She let herself imagine the sounds were for her benefit as well as she relaxed into the soft “tch tch tch” of the knight.

Before she could thank the knight they inquired, “Are you from Camelot?” the voice came tinny through the helmet. She wasn’t sure if it was that which made the knight’s voice sound young. Or perhaps they were just a youth, freshly knighted and eager to make a name for themself.

Either way the thanks died in her throat as her mouth dropped into a displeased frown, “I am.”

“May I escort you back?”

Her frown deepened.

Did this knight know who she was?

How convenient for them that they’d saved Uther’s very own ward. They were sure to play that up when they got back to the castle. A fact she did not wish to be a part of. But knowing she did not feel up for more riding she turned her horse in the direction of the castle as she pressed it into a gallop.

Best just to get this over with.

____

The gates to Camelot were always open, being reached by a two cart wide stone bridge that snaked up to the portcullis gate.

The knight hadn’t left her side the whole way back, except for when the path narrowed. Then as soon as it widened again they were back at her side.

Were they afraid she’d run off?

Morgana was tempted. Had Uther sent them after her?

Part of the reason she went to the woods was because she knew how much he hated it. It was a teenaged act of rebellion she had not lost even as she’d blossomed into a woman. If Uther was not going to change his ways and listen to reason why should she stop her “silly acts of rebellion” as Uther liked to call them.

It wasn’t until they were riding up the path to the gate that she realized the knight hadn’t said a word since his question.

Not all knights were talkative, she knew a few that were and a few that weren’t. But this one kept his gaze fixed ahead as he escorted her horse back to the castle. He was dressed in full armor, helmet and all. On his saddle he had a shield with a crest she did not recognize. He was not a knight of Camelot, but neither was he one of their enemies.

Their many enemies.

Arthur had informed her a few days back that new knights would be arriving from other kingdoms having come to pledge their fealty to Uther. Joining his ranks to help in the fight to keep the peace against Camelot’s enemies. She thought it sounded ridiculous, fighting to keep the peace. Peace was about not fighting so how could one fight to bring it about?

The steady clack of hooves on stone alerted her to the fact that they had entered Camelot.

The castle consisted first of an enclosed town where shops and small homes were set up. Past this was another gate with an iron portcullis hanging above. Through this gate one entered the castle courtyard.

On entering the guards greeted her with a salute as an attendant came over to take her horse’s reigns.

Arthur was out in the courtyard talking with his man servant, a wiry young man called Merlin. The boy was strange, or so Morgana thought, but who was she to judge. She herself had tendencies that others would call foreign. Unholy. Sinister.

The blonde prince turned, smiling as he walked closer to where Morgana’s horse had stopped.

“I was wondering where you went off to,” his smile changed as his gaze shifted to the side where her knight companion halted his horse, “Ah, you must be one of the new knights. Welcome to Camelot.” His gaze drifted back to Morgana as his eyes shifted between the two curiously, “Are you two coming in together?”

Before Morgana could answer the knight spoke, his voice sounding hollow as it came through his closed visor, “We ran across each other on the way in.”

Though she couldn’t see the man’s face she thought she heard a smile in the way he said the words. Again she found herself thinking about how young he sounded, like his voice hadn’t yet dropped.

Was Uther so desperate for knights now he was hiring knights fresh out of squiring?

The knight did not continue the story as he swung down off his saddle. She was surprised he wasn’t bragging about the fact he had saved her. Most people would have, assuming that saving the king’s ward would endear them to the man. But as those in Camelot knew, her and Uther’s current relationship was strained. Uther’s fear of magic had gone too far, in Morgana’s mind. He had tried to kill a young druid boy, who Morgana had secretly helped escape. Then he had killed her maidservant’s father, Tom, for suspected witch craft.

The man was out of control.

She almost felt sorry for the knight as they did not know what they were getting into.

Her pity faded when the knight came over, offering his hand to help her down from the horse.

Her reply was haughty despite his heroics earlier, “I can take care of myself.”

Again the knight’s tone sounded like it held a smile that was hidden beneath the metal of their faceplate, “I do believe you are a highly capable woman, but so I don’t appear as a pompous jerk might I offer you my hand. Helping you would really be helping me.”

Even with what he had done in the field she did not know why she should help him. Still, for proprieties sake she reached out as she took his gloved hand.

It wasn’t a large hand like she expected. She knew most knights’ hands to be large and imposing, bear like paws which aided them in holding their large swords. But this knight’s hand was about the same size as hers.

She had held Arthur’s hand on several occasions, feeling as if her own hand was lost in his. While Gwen dreamily told her about how nice it was to hold Lancelot’s hand, how safe it made her to feel it engulf hers, Morgana found no comfort in the thought of being lost in someone’s hand. If anything, she wanted a hand she could feel equal in.

A hand, perhaps, like this knight’s. Her hand did fit perfectly in theirs. Not too big. Not too small. Just right.

As soon as she thought this she pulled her hand away.

“Thank you, sir knight.”

She started to walk away as behind her she heard the knight call after, “I hope we meet again, my lady. Hopefully under less harrowing circumstances.”

She made a curt nod, decorum making her unable to ignore him completely before leaving the courtyard.

______

Morgana was sitting in the throne room wearing a dark blue dress with black lace sleeves. She found herself picking out the patterns in the lace with her eyes as in front of her a peasant presented his case to the court. There was flower. A bird. My how detailed the lacemaker had been. She would have to check the lace on her other gowns to see if they were all like this.

Her attention turned back to the front as the peasant bowed, thanking the king for listening to his concerns. She smiled softly at the man before he made his way out of the throne room.

Listening to the people’s concerns wasn’t something she hated. What she hated was how she had no say in what happened to them. That day she had already made several suggestions to King Uther but he had lifted his hand after her third attempt as he reminded her, “I can handle this on my own, Morgana.”

It was obvious from his tone that the ice wall was still up between them.

In the past he often listened to her. In the past he hadn’t been so dismissive of the things she suggested. Now she was nothing more than a decoration as she sat in the seat beside him.

Her jaw clenched with this thought as a group of knights walked into the room. They had all come to pledge their fealty to Camelot. She perked up slightly when she saw the knight from the previous day. He was still dressed in full arm, including his helmet.

She wondered at how he wasn’t hot as the first knight in line stepped up to the throne, kneeling down as he placed his fist over their chest as he pledged his loyalty to Uther.

As the second knight stepped up to do the same she sank down in her seat, her boredom returning as her eyes went back to the sleeve of her dress. Was that another design? She couldn’t be sure as her eyes narrowed to take in the pattern more intently.

It wasn’t hard for her to act like she didn’t care about what was going on around her. Even though she did not care she found herself glancing from her sleeve towards the helmeted knight as they moved up in the line of men. There was nothing special about them so she could not understand why she kept checking on them.

The helmeted knight was now third in line, as another knight stepped up to kneel before the king. He was a large man with a bushy beard and thick accent. The typical knight one usually saw, with large hands and an abundance of confidence with scars that spoke of their toughness and ability to survive in battle.

The first knights to step up must have been of higher rank, as the remaining knights all bowed as one as their voices joined as one to declare their loyalty. Morgana was unable to pick out the young knight’s voice over the boisterous voices of the other knights.

As the men let out the usual lines she wasn’t the only one to notice that the knight did not remove his helmet.

Once the knight’s had finished, Arthur declared to the room, “It is not polite to keep your helmet on in the presence of the king.”

The knights had returned to their feet, as the helmeted knight bowed their head as he replied in his hollow tones, “My apologies. But many cannot bear to view my visage.”

Her lips curled with disgust as she pictured various battle scars, some still fresh and oozing along with several warts.

Merlin thought similarly, as he leaned into Arthur to whisper, “He must mean he is hideous.”

Arthur brushed him away, before telling the knight, “We will not judge you knight. I have heard great things about you and the battles you have won for your country. I’m looking forward to having you as part of our court.”

The knight was standing straight, but she thought she noticed a tension in their bearing. What had him so on edge?

As if ignoring Arthur, the knight turned his visor towards the king as he addressed Uther, “As long as you promise to only judge me by my actions and not my appearance, I will remove my helmet.”

Uther nodded, “You have my word.”

Her nails dug into the armrest of her chair as she thought, A lot of good that is.

Reaching up, the knight started to slide his helmet up. She felt her body tense, cringing in anticipation of oozing wounds and a hollow spot where the knight’s eye should be. Instead the first thing she saw was flowing gold hair. From there two rosy petals for lips and cute button nose then the face. The face!

Beside her Uther sat straighter as he realized at almost the same time as her what he was looking at.

There was no mistaking it and a collective gasp was heard in the court as everyone else realized what they were seeing. This was not the face of a battle hardened man; this was the face of a woman. A beautiful woman, Morgana found herself thinking as her heart fluttered.

Uther rose, anger visible in his stance as well as his tone as he snapped, “What is a woman doing posing as a knight?”

The female knight did not waver in the slightest, even when the other knight’s started to draw their swords, “You gave me your word, your highness. You promised not to judge me by my looks, but only by my actions. And they have more than proved that I am a knight in all senses of the word.”

Uther’s fists were shaking at his sides as he growled through gritted teeth, “You tricked me.”

The female knight shrugged her shoulder as if Uther was accusing her over something as simple as a card game, “That may very well be, but where I come from a knight is judged by their skills, not their features, or what does or does not hang between their legs.”

Arthur had stood around the same time as his father. He touched the man’s hand now as he informed him, “I had heard tale that the island of Krypton has both male and female warriors.”

The king looked like he wanted to dismiss her, to send her away regardless of his promise. Seeing this, Morgana stood, putting her back tp the knight as she spoke in the king’s ear, “You gave your word. What are the other new knights going to think if you go back on it now?”

Uther scowled, glaring sideways at her like how dare you.

She returned his scowl with her own that said try me, bitch.

The king’s lip lifted in a snarl, but she could tell he was considering her words. Finally he stepped forward, away from her as he let out a huff, “You are dismissed.” His eyes fixed on the female knight, a gaze as sharp as a dagger, “Even you knight.”

They all bowed their heads, not turning till they had left the room. Just before the doors closed Morgana swore she saw the female knight’s eyes shift to her as her head dipped with an appreciative nod. Then the doors closed.

As the royals sat, Uther leaned into Arthur as he instructed him, “I want you to do whatever you have to, whatever is necessary, to get that woman to leave of her own accord. I will not have a woman among my knights.”

Arthur’s jaw flexed like he wasn’t pleased with his father’s instructions, but as Morgana guessed, he nodded his head as he replied, “Yes, father. I will do as you wish.”

Morgana turned her face away so they would not see her sneer. Of course Arthur would agree. Always the obedient daddy’s boy. Loyal even at the expense of his own morals. Of his own desires.

But she was not Uther’s child and she did not feel the same inclinations. No matter how grateful she was for all he’d provided for her up till then she was not going to do what he ordered if it went against her own moral code. If she had done that the druid boy would be dead. Gwen would be dead. Hell, even, Arthur would probably be dead. Uther’s rage and fear knew no bounds.

When the court was dismissed, Arthur’s jaw was still firmly set as she could see him wrestling with his father’s orders and his own beliefs.

Walking out with him, she inquired, as if it were an innocent question, “Is it really so bad that a woman fights by your side? Gwen and I helped you when we fought to save Merlin’s town. I thought we both proved ourselves as highly capable and we are nowhere near as well trained as that lady knight. Is it really so bad to think that a woman might be as strong, or stronger than you?”

Arthur didn’t answer as she left him to consider her words as she quickened her pace to head down a different corner.

On her own she recalled the look on Uther’s face when he’d realized the lady knight had tricked him. Not tricked him. Outplayed him.

She started to laugh to herself as she recalled how angry he had been. How his ego must have deflated when he’d realized he’d been bested. And by a woman. She personally knew how much he hated that.

Her laugh came again, light and airy. It cut off when she heard a voice behind her.

“Your laugh reminds me of the Vathlo falls back home. Such a sweet and calming sound.”

Her smile dropped into a frown as she looked back to see the female knight standing behind her. The woman was holding her helmet under one arm, her golden waves resting gently on the shoulders of her armor. Now that she knew what was under the armor she noticed just how different the knight’s armor looked. More slim than the broad shouldered armor she usually saw.

The knight herself wore a curious smile as she asked, “Might I inquire what has you so amused?”

Though the woman had caused her amusement, now with her standing in front of her, Morgana felt her shackles rise as she replied tersely, “You are very bold, sir knight. Or should I say, lady knight,” the female knight looked amused as she briefly bowed her head, “You think just because you are able to pull one over on the king you can feign familiarity with me.”

The other woman’s head dipped to the side with a look of confusion, “Oh, you are offended for your guardian’s sake. From your reaction in the throne room I rather thought you enjoyed how I played the king.”

Morgana’s lips pursed as her chest rose with a haughty expression, “How dare you assume my feelings.”

Though the dark haired woman’s eyes flashed with a warning to stay back, the blonde seemed to sense no real threat as she stepped closer, her tone low as she replied, “I would never presume a lady’s feelings. I am myself a lady after all and I know how often I do not even know my own feelings. How could I understand another’s?”

Smiling, the knight took Morgana’s hand, lifting it to her soft petal lips. The touch sent shivers up Morgana’s arm making her body shiver like some kind of electricity had passed through her.

Her mind flashed with warning signals of this woman is incredibly dangerous. Her eyes drifted down to the sword hanging on the woman’s belt. But the danger was not there, she realized as panic did not rise in her chest till she looked up, finding the woman’s cerulean eyes fixed on her. There, in that spark in her eyes lay the true danger. She realized this as her heart quickened in pace. Tripled even.

The knight peered up at her through her curtain of lashes, two cerulean orbs fixing on the green of Morgana’s eyes. Again she felt a jolt of something run through her. The knight looked to feel the same as she reluctantly released Morgana’s hand before bowing her head.

Then with a pleasant smile she said, “If you are not too busy, My Lady, might I request a tour of the palace. The other knights” she looked down the hall as if she could see them, “don’t seem keen on spending time with me.”

The shiver she had felt before was forgotten as she felt her insides heat with annoyance, “I am the ward of the king. Not someone who gives tours. If you want someone to show you around ask a servant.” She said the words sharply like she was throwing daggers at the knight, but every barb seemed to bounce off the woman’s metal armor as the smile on her lips only brightened.

Again the woman nodded her head as if in thanks before turning on her heels as she walked away.

Morgan’s nostrils flared as she watched her go, realizing she should have been the one to leave first. She did so then as she stalked back to her room.

The very nerve of that knight.

She would not be so careless as to let her ever get that close again.

_____

In the night her dreams had other plans, as she dreamed of very same knight.

In the dream, Morgana had been attacked by two bandits on the edge of a cliff. She felt the feeling of weightlessness as she found herself falling over the edge. A scream was trapped in her throat as she plunged over the side. Just when her heart was starting to catch up with the situation, pounding with fear, she felt herself stop. Then slowly she started to rise as she watched the cliff’s edge moved towards her.

“Are you okay?” the question came behind her as she realized she was being held by the knight. Held in her strong arms as they hung together in the air.

Not hung, flew.

Together they reached the cliff’s edge as the bandit’s stepped back, looking surprised to see both women floating. Before they could react beams of light shot from the knight’s eyes at the men.

Morgana woke with a start, her chest heaving as her heart raced in her chest. Around her the candles in the room flared for a moment before going out again. She did not notice as lingering sensations from the dream remained.

The weightlessness.

The feeling of the knight’s arms holding her.

It felt more like a memory than a creation of her mind.

Knowing she was not going to get back to sleep, she threw her robe over her shoulders as she decided to take a walk.

The night air felt nice on her skin which still burned with the dream. What bothered her more than how real it had felt was the contents of the dream: a flying knight.

The lady knight had not been dressed in armor but a red and blue suit that had clung tightly to her body. Morgana’s cheeks flushed at the memory, of being able to see every curve of the woman’s form.

More jarring than that was how she had flown like a bird, or a phoenix. Or a being of magic.

Ahead of her she heard the sounds of metal hitting metal. The training area was just ahead of her, putting her fears of the castle being attacked to rest.

The moon was still high in the sky, its crescent only barely lighting the path in front of her as she headed towards the sound.

By the light of the sound she saw the familiar glint of metal as it moved in an arch. A form moved with the metal in the center of the training ring, gliding across the yard as it moved close to hit at a practice dummy.

The sword work was masterful, highly skilled. But that’s not what captured her attention.

Even though it was night, sunlight flashed as the female knight’s golden hair blazed around her like a supernova. She spun around, delivering a hit to the dummy that shivered with the force of the impact. The woman’s eyes were focused on her fight so that she did not notice as Morgana approached the edge of the practice ring.

She felt her thighs hit against the fence that surrounded the ring, keeping her back from the woman within.

Usually she did not linger as the grunts and groans of the boorish men annoyed her. Sounds of Arthur and his knights trying their best to sound tough and manly. The female knight fought more quietly, putting all her energies into the hits.

She looked to have been practicing for a while as the moonlight made the sweat on her body glisten like diamonds. She was wearing a loose fitted white shirt that had ties at the neck. They had been loosened in her efforts, allowing Morgana a look at the knight’s collar bone which stood out with each swing of the sword.

The collar bone wasn’t the only thing she could see, as a particular swing allowed her a deeper look into the woman’s shirt as the round of her bosom rose and fell with effort.

Morgana averted her gaze as a heat came to her cheeks.

Regaining herself, she returned her eyes to the battlefield. She had never had an interest in watching the knight’s exercise, but watching the lady knight was almost like watching a dance. The way she spun about her opponent, the way she shifted the sword in her hand, spinning the pommel in the air before gripping the handle again as she swung it around in an arc at the practice dummy.

Arthur by contrast always appeared brutish, like a bear swinging an axe. But this woman was graceful and lithe, like a cat. Watching her, Morgana felt a longing in her chest. For what, she wasn’t sure.

The ringing of metal stopped as the woman paused, her chest rising and falling with her heavy breaths. Morgana found herself entranced as the other woman wiped at her forehead with the back of her sleeve. As she turned to face Morgana, her eyes shone like sapphires in the light cast by the nearby torches.

The lady knight smiled as she realized she had an audience. The joy turned to concern as her eyes drifted up to the moon before coming back to earth. Back to Morgana.

“I sometimes have trouble getting to sleep when I’m somewhere new,” she paused a moment to pull at her shirt in the areas that clung to her body. Like her chest. Her abs.

Morgana felt herself swallow as her eyes fixed on the woman’s stomach for what felt like an eternity.

Then the knight’s voice cut through as she inquired, “What about you, milady? Are you just a very early riser, or…?” she let the question trail off as if hoping it would leave an opening for Morgana to answer.

But Morgana was not inclined to answer to anyone.

Before she could turn away the lady knight called after her, “Would you like me to teach you?”

Morgana felt her eyebrow arch in a curious expression as her gaze shifted back to the woman. The sword was still in her hand, hanging by her side as the knight had taken a step closer to Morgana, her stance open. Hopeful.

When Morgana didn’t make a move to leave the girl motioned back with her sword hand at the dummy, “I think all women should learn how to wield a sword. It could come in handy.” Another long pause as if waiting for Morgana to take up the conversation. When no reply came, “I’m Kara, by the way. I don’t know if you had a chance to hear it yet. Kara of house Zorel.”

Morgana felt her chin lift as for a moment she considered reminding the knight she had not asked, but the words would not come out. Her usual haughty bravado felt cooled in the presence of this female knight. This—Kara Zorel.

Instead of moving away she felt herself move closer, back to the fence line as she again felt the hard wood against her thighs.

Would the lady knight’s legs feel just as hard against her?

She took in a breath to steel herself against the growing heat in her face as she asked in a hard voice, “You really think someone like me could learn to wield a sword?”

She knew how other knights thought. How other people felt. About her. About women. Even Arthur, who she had spent their younger years training with, could forget at times just how capable she actually was with the weapon. But this Kara did not know any of this.

The female knight for her part did not seem dampened in the least by Morgana’s demeaning of herself. Instead she looked to brighten more as she assured Morgana, “Anyone can learn. No matter the starting point, as long as you have the right attitude and put in the time, anyone can learn to fight. To do anything really.”

She said it so brightly. Her hopeful glow reminded one of the sun in all its early morning glory. Warm. Shedding light over everything including the shadows of doubt that remained from the night.

Again Morgana found herself moving closer, drawn in by the girl’s bright nature. Stepping around the fence, she stopped a sword’s distance from the girl. This only made the girl glow brighter as she turned away to grab two practice swords.

Shadows. Morgana could still feel the shadows of her recent dream clinging to her. The night was not her favorite time. Sleep was never a pleasant experience for her. But right now, with this girl and her promise of light standing in front of her, for a moment she let herself believe that the night could be a pleasant thing. A restful thing. A hopeful thing.

Kara held out the sword to her, the warm smile still adorning her face.

“Let’s get started.”

______

Kara had her start with foot work. When she didn’t think Morgana was moving right she got behind her, putting her hands on Morgana’s hips as she shifted them in the direction she wanted. Her hold was firm but gentle and sent shivers up Morgana’s body.

No one had ever dared touch her and never so confidently. It was like Kara didn’t even realized what she was doing, that she was touching Morgana. For her it was nothing more than the touch of a teacher with their student.

Did she even notice how close they were?

Her hips rested against Morgana’s so close she could feel every shift the other girl made as she directed her movements with her own body.

She felt like a puppet on a string, moving as the expert puppeteer, Kara, instructed her. But she was not being moved by a string but by Kara’s own body as it pressed against the length of hers. They were so close she could feel Kara’s breath, hot on her neck. So close she swore she could feel the other girl’s heartbeat against her back. Slow. Steady. Unlike Morgana’s own heart which fluttered like the wings of a hummingbird.

“Good,” Kara’s voice vibrated against Morgana’s ear as she told her, “Now move your left foot forward more. No. Not there,” another firm touch on her thigh as Kara directed her leg back with her own.

Morgana closed her eyes, savoring the closeness of the other woman. Her thighs were as firm as the fence post. Her fingers long as she slid them along the back of Morgana’s hand, sending a feeling like scattered rain up the length of her body.

“Morgana,” the female knight’s tone was low, the way she spoke her name unlike how anyone else had said it before.

The king’s ward had always felt off, like something was different about her. But here, in this moment, with Kara, she felt like everything was right with the world. Like she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

Other times even breathing was hard, like even the air was trying to strangle her, to silence her voice.

Though she felt light headed now, with Kara so close, she was able to breath deeper than she ever had before.

Kara managed to move closer as she felt the woman’s hand slide around her waist, the skin beneath tingling at the touch.

“Like this,” the hand at her waist traveled up the length of her arm as Kara gripped the hand holding the sword.

Morgana managed to find her voice as it came out breathless, “I’ve never seen anyone teach like this.” The bite at the end did little to hide the quiver she felt in her chest.

She felt Kara’s smile against her cheek as the other girl lined her gaze with Morgana’s.

“I’m a little more hands on than most. But I find it helps the new fighter learn faster.”

She felt her breath shake at the thought: hands moving all over her body. The nights she usually dreaded filled with a tossing and turning of a whole different kind.

It felt like she’d touched fire as she dropped the sword at the same time she pulled away from Kara.

The girl looked confused as Morgana pulled back further.

“What’s--?”

Morgana didn’t let her finish as she ran from the scene. From the hands that filled her heart with a longing she’d never felt before. With a feeling that at once was so right while also being so delightfully wrong. 

____

The next morning the practice ring was filed with the usual grunts and groans of the brutish male knights. But when she walked past her eyes caught sight of the blonde tresses of the only female fighter.

Pausing, Morgana watched as the girl worked with a younger male knight on his footwork. Her heart clenched, her nostrils flaring as she watched the girl press into the male knight as closely as she had with Morgana. Her mind looked to be completely focused on the sword as she didn’t notice the leer on the young man’s face.

He let out a nervous, breathy laugh as Kara slid her hand across his waist, showing with her hands how she wanted him to position his chest.

Had she looked as dopey as this young man? So lost in the moment he did not even realize it was all business for Kara.

Morgana held the fence post so tight she felt splinters dig under her nails.

“Kara,” someone else’s voice called out in objection as Kara turned to the voice, moving back from the male knight as Arthur stalked over, “what do you think you are doing?”

Kara helplessly motioned to the male knight as she stated like it was obvious, “Teaching.”

Arthur’s jaw flexed as he looked over at the male knight who was looking down sheepishly.

The prince’s eyes flashed back to Kara, “That is not how we teach here at Camelot.”

“Why? I’ve found it helps the student know exactly how you want their body to move. It’s just like you do with dancing.”

Arthur looked to struggle for an answer before finally blurting out, “It’s not appropriate.”

Kara frowned as her arms folded across her chest, “Why? Because I’m a woman.”

Arthur’s mouth gaped like a fish as he searched for the proper response, “Well, yes. A man would never teach that way.”

“Are we not fellow warriors?” Kara gestured to the surrounding fighters. “What is so wrong with us working so closely? Does not your man servant share such intimate touches with you when you are dressing? Yet you do not complain at him like you do me.”

Morgana heard a snort as she looked to her side to see Merlin watching the exchanged with a curled lip, “Actually he does complain. Quite a lot.”

Arthur actually went red at Kara’s words. Morgana smiled.

Though she was not happy to see the female knight run her hands over another’s body, she was happy to watch her put the prince in his place.

“Here,” Kara motioned to the young man who was just starting to try to slink away, “You have fought with Jason before, correct?”

Arthur nodded looking unsure where the female knight was going with the question.

“And you know what a poor fighter he is.”

‘Hey,” went the young man in objection.

Both of them ignored him as Kara said, “Fight him now and see if he is not much improved from the little instruction I have given him.”

Arthur looked to the fence where Morgana stood. Realizing he wasn’t looking at her she turned her gaze back, instantly bristling as she found Uther standing watch over the exchange.

Back on the field Arthur’s jaw flexed as if recalling his father’s order.

“Very well,” Arthur motioned for someone to hand him a practice sword.

Merlin let out a tired sigh when no one else moved. “I guess I’ll get it then.”

Arthur made a displeased purse of the lips at the young man as Merlin slowly jogged off to get the sword, “This century would be nice, Merlin.”

Another grumbling sound from the young man as he picked up his pace.

Kara already had one for Jason as she handed it to him with a reassuring smile, “Remember the feeling of my stance against yours. Hold your body like that and shift your feet in the way I showed and you will do fine.”

The young man looked sick as he took the sword, wavering for a moment as he turned to face Arthur. When he took his fighting stance his bearing looked to have more confidence whether he felt it or not.

Arthur was the first to strike as he lunged at the man. Though unsure, the young man shuffled his feet back, lifting his hand as he easily parried the sword strike, quickly shuffling his feet forward again as he delivered his own strike. Arthur was ready for it but did seem surprised by the returned attack. The longer they fought, the more surprised he looked. The young man also seemed surprised as shortly after that he had his sword knocked out of his hand by Arthur.

Giving his sword back to Merlin, Arthur turned his gaze on the female knight, his expression mixed between awe and confusion, “I cannot see how your lesson helped him, but it seems like it did something. He’s never lasted that long.”

The young man looked to be grumbling under his breath as he sulked away.

Kara returned Arthur’s confused with a confident smile as she said, “See, there is some method to my madness. I could help with training around here. It was one of my duties back on Krypton. There one never stops being a teacher and a student as there never comes a time when you stop learning.”

Her gaze shifted from Arthur to all the other knights who had stopped their training to watch the exchange, “If I am going to be fighting with you, I would like to make sure we all improve together. I don’t think it’s right for one knight to be vastly better than the others. If one is that just means they are keeping their skills to themselves. But we only improve when we share our knowledge and skills with each other.”

Morgana felt herself smile at the girl’s words. She had such a warm and optimistic view that invited all to dream with her. To hope

Not everyone there was drawn in, as Uther’s arrogant tone broke in with a curt, “That’s a nice sentiment, but I wonder if you can actually back up your words. I have yet to see you as the great knight we have only heard stories about.”

“If you doubt my skills, sire, I am more than willing to demonstrate them to you personally.”

She motioned to the ring, clearly inviting the king to a dual.

The king sneered as he looked at Arthur. The prince looked caught off by the hard look before turning to Merlin, “My sword.”

The boy returned to the sword stand where he clumsily grabbed a blade, knocking off several in the process. Arthur let out a tired groan as his man servant struggled to get out the sword which had landed under the others.

“Just get me a sword, Merlin. Any sword.”

While this happened, Kara stretched out her muscles, rolling her shoulders, twisting her hips, cracking her neck.

Despite the annoyance she felt at the young woman, Morgana found herself transfixed by the woman’s movements. By the arch in her back as she stretched forward and back. By the muscles of her arms as she stretched them above her head. By the length of her legs as she dipped down, almost kneeling, as she performed a lunge.

As soon as he had his sword Kara grabbed her own. Uther was the one to signal the start as he let out a booming, “Go!”

With his usual full force, Arthur surged forward, lunging at Kara who expertly shifted her feet to the side, dodging the prince like one dodges a charging bull.

Kara remained on the defensive as Arthur made swing after swing, each blow hitting Kara’s blade which rang out like a church bell.

Morgana wondered at how Kara was able to keep the bright smile on her face with how loud her sword rang out. The strength of the reverberations must have made her arms hurt, as the strong blows sent vibrations through her body. Morgana knew personally just how hard Arthur could hit, and how numb it left one’s hands.

If it did hurt Kara did not let on as she started calling out pointers to Arthur about his grip, or footwork. Or even the way he breathed when he brought his sword around.

“Breathe control is very important to sword work.”

Arthur looked annoyed but the most bothered was Uther. She could practically feel the electricity crackling off the old man as he gripped his hands so tight behind his back she could hear the leather of his gloves creak. Letting out a snort like a bull he turned before marching away as the battle continued.

It was probably for the best, as the moment after he left Kara managed to knock Arthur’s blade to the side as she pointed her practice blade at his chest.

“Yield?”

As the knight’s around looked concerned, starting to move in with their swords drawn, Arthur was smiling as if the whole experience had been great fun for him. And maybe it was. It had been awhile since anyone had really challenged him. Since anyone had dared challenge him.

He signaled to the other knights to hold back, looking out of breathe while across from him, Kara was breathing as lightly as if she had just gone on a nice Sunday walk.

“I yield.”

The girl smiled, nodding her head in appreciation as she held out her sword for a squire to take. As the boy did, Kara’s eyes turned to the fence. Disappointment showed in her expression as she realized the king had already left. That look left when she noticed Morgana standing at the fence. She dipped her head in greeting before turning her eyes back to Arthur.

“I hope this doesn’t hurt your pride to have yielded. But honestly, if I had to face you a moment longer I feel that my arms might have fallen off.” She rubbed at her shoulders as if to emphasize her point. “You have a great power behind you blade. I think a little more finesse in your swings could do you great good.”

The prince nodded, looking genuinely appreciative of her comments before glancing to the fence as if just remembering his father had been there. He relaxed when he saw the man was gone. Turning back to Merlin he tossed his sword at him. Merlin dropped it.

“Seriously, Merlin!”

He let out a tired sigh before turning his attention from the man servant back to the lady knight. He hurried to catch up with her as she made her way to the stables. Morgana could hear him asking her about her island and other fighting techniques she had learned there.

A smile pulled at the edge of her mouth. It was good to see Arthur getting along with the new knight. Good to see him putting aside his arrogance and pride as he admitted to needing to learn more.

Her smile faded as another part of her wondered if it was a good thing.

A dull ache in the center of her chest seemed to say otherwise. A spark of something green and monstrous clawing at her insides.

She turned away before the creature could pull itself to the surface.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camelot hosts a tournament

Though Kara had proven herself in the ring against Arthur, Uther kept her at home, claiming he needed her there to keep Camelot safe. But everyone knew this was not the real reason for her sequestering.

Even with all that drama going on Morgana did not concern herself with it as she had her own problems to worry about.

Her dreams at night were getting worse and the sleep aids she got from Gaius, the castles resident healer, were not helping to keep her from dreaming anymore.

One night, when she closed her eyes, she found herself dreaming of a woman who was pointing a crossbow at her while hatefully declaring, “The Luthor name doesn’t deserve you.”

Before she could fire, Kara rushed in with inhuman speed, pushing the woman’s arm up so she fired at the ceiling. With the woman pinned, Kara turned a frown on her before giving Morgana a soft smile, “The Luthor name doesn’t deserve her.”

Though she did not know what the Luthor name was, Morgana felt her heart ache as if she did know. As if she had some connection with it that filled her with regret and a burning desire to be different. To be someone else. To prove herself as something more than the name implied.

Again she awoke to the candles around her flickering. They had been out when she’d gone to sleep and soon went out again as she caught her breath. Even the moon outside seemed to dim as a cloud moved across it.

As with many other nights before, she found herself wandering the halls of Camelot like some kind of ghost.

This time her wanderings took her to the library where she was surprised to find a candle burning.

There was no one around, just the candle sitting next to a pile of books. She shifted the stack so she could see each of the titles, a book on poetry, one on the stars, another on local history.

There was a sound behind as she turned back to find the lady knight standing behind her. A soft smile was on her face as she greeted her. The way she said Morgana’s name made it sound so sweet, like honey on her lips. Lips which seemed to glisten like a cherry in the rain in the candle light.

“You looking for a book to put you to sleep?” the knight asked the question with humor in her voice. Reaching over to the pile of books she moved the top two books before presenting the third volume to Morgana, “I recommend this history book. It is especially dry and I had to do jumping jacks to keep myself awake.” Again she let out a laugh which reminded Morgana of—waterfall had been what Kara had said Morgana’s laugh reminded her of, but Kara’s reminded her of something else. A winter’s stream, full and overflowing with energy and the promise of new life it would bring.

“It’s strange to see you here.”

Kara gave her a curious look as she looked around the room as if expecting to find herself somewhere other than the library, “Why?”

“I cannot remember the last time I saw a knight reading.”

The other girl looked amused as she stated, “I believe it is just as important to exercise one’s mind as their body.”

“And what, pray tell, are you exercising your mind with today?”

She expected Kara to grab one of the other books she’d left on the table, instead she lifted the volume she was holding in her other hand. A book Morgana had not noticed until then. Something about the book, with its faded leather cover and ragged pages, made her skin tingle like when she was doing something she knew she shouldn’t.

“I’ve been reading this book on magic.”

Just hearing the word made Morgana’s heart stutter and stop as her mouth went dry, “Where did you find that?” her voice sounded hoarse, strained, as she struggled to keep herself from screaming.

Fear. She was afraid.

But why so strongly?

Then she recalled Gwen’s father and how there had only been circumstantial evidence tying him to magic. And yet he had died.

Or there was the druid boy that Uther had sentenced to death for mere ties to magic. If the king even knew that Kara had touched a book on the dark arts it would have been enough of an excuse for him. He would not hesitate to banish her, or worse.

Kara looked back at the bookshelves, as if looking to the spot itself as she answered, “I found it there, tucked behind some other books. Its title caught my attention. Isn’t magic banned in Camelot? I wonder why a book like it would--.”

Morgana was as surprised as Kara as she snatched the book out of her hands. As soon as she touched it she felt a fire travel up the book into her, making her skin go cold as she felt herself fill with an energy unlike anything she’d ever felt before.

“We need to get rid of this,” even though part of her wanted to hold onto the book, to open its pages and absorb every secret contained within. “If Uther sees you even holding this--,” her mouth went dry at the mere thought of what he might do, “he’s looking for any excuse to get rid of you.”

Kara’s mouth curved to the side as if she was trying not to look amused but failing miserably as she feigned surprise, “Uther wants to get rid of me? Why ever would he want to do that?” she touched her hand to her breast as if to hint at the reason for his ire.

While the knight looked ready to laugh, Morgana’s mouth set in a firm line, “I’m being serious.”

The girl’s head tilted to the side as she studied Morgana carefully, “How strange. You act as if you would be sad to see me go.”

Morgana felt the sharpness in her voice as she snapped, “I just don’t think you should be punished for something as trivial as having a book on magic.”

“You find your guardian’s opinion on magic unfair?”

Morgana’s jaw flexed as again she noticed Kara studying her closely. It almost felt like she was testing Morgana, feeling her out to see what her opinion was.

Did Kara have magic?

Was her dream right?

Could the girl actually fly?

Or was this something else?

Her heart stopped completely as she realized she shouldn’t even be hinting at showing favor to magic. Not with how deranged Uther had been of late. How hell bent he was on eradicating magic no matter the cost. If he even thought that Morgana harbored some sympathies for magic he would send her to the dungeon until she lost those sympathies. Or, he might start to wander if she didn’t show so much concern for those cursed with magic because she was a practitioner herself.

Not that she was sure she was a magic user. Her dreams did seem like premonitions of things to come, or of another world. Harbingers of something dark that dwelt within her.

Her breathing felt labored like something was pressing to her chest, keeping her from breathing fully.

Kara noticed how pale she was getting, concern passing across her face as she reached up. Before she could touch her, Morgana pressed the book on magic to the other girl’s chest as she ordered, “Get rid of it.”

She left the room before any temptation could entice her to take the book.

That or something else, as she remembered the candlelight glistening on Kara’s lips. Lips which were as dangerous for her as the book.

_____

In the evening Camelot was hosting a tournament. Banners were lifted above the fighting ring while the sides were filled with wooden benches and platforms holding viewing boxes for the upper class.

That morning, Morgana had chosen a forest green dress that tied at the neck while leaving her back and shoulders bare. That and a golden circlet around the head was what she was wearing as she sat in the royal stall.

Alone.

Arthur wasn’t anywhere to be found while Uther was off talking with diplomats who were visiting because of the festivities.

Though she didn’t see Arthur, she did spot his man servant. Merlin carrying a blanketed bundle which awkwardly shifted in his arms. He was not that conspicuous as he headed into a tent. She didn’t have to guess at what he was doing.

Earlier in the day she’d heard Arthur telling Uther about wanting to compete in the games. Uther had, of course, turned him down.

“You are the future king. I will not have you getting hurt.”

As soon as he had his father’s disapproval, Arthur had conceded to his wishes.

Out in the hall Merlin had tried to console him, but Arthur had turned him away, “It’s not like it matters. No one would take me seriously if I competed. They would all concede for fear of angering the crown.”

As he huffed away it seemed as if that were the end. But seeing the way Merlin skulked about, Morgana had a suspicion that for once Arthur was going against his father’s wishes.

A surprise, but not too big of one since it had to do with his own desires. Like his father, he only ever fought for the things that benefited him.

Someone else she was not surprised to see walking around the tournament was Kara. For days before the tournament she’d heard Uther yelling at Arthur, displeased at his inability to get the woman to give up and leave.

“I’ve given her the most menial of tasks pertaining to her station,” was Arthur’s reply, “But she does them without complaint and to the best of her abilities.”

Uther of course had snorted derisively as he reminded Arthur yet again, “I will not have a woman playing at knighthood within my court.”

Morgana was surprised Uther hadn’t seen the tournament as a chance for Arthur to fight Kara in hopes of humiliating her so that she finally left.

But whatever Uther did have planned for the female knight, Morgana told herself she didn’t care.

What did she care about a woman who felt no qualms about running her hands all over people’s bodies? Who unashamedly asked the king’s ward for a personal tour of the castle? Who smiled at her as if she was the only one she saw. Who said her name like it was her favorite sweet treat. The spark in her eyes making it seem as if she wanted to hold more than just Morgana’s name in her mouth.

Morgana shook such thoughts from her mind. That’s all they were: thoughts. Sinister thoughts she would not allow herself to dwell on.

Off to the side she noticed Merlin running through the gathering of tents, making his way in the direction of the weapon’s shed. Though she was sure Arthur had ordered him not to stand out, she thought he seemed more noticeable as he paused for a moment to hide behind a pole that was far thinner than him, before rushing on. She half expected him to do a barrel roll as he moved like a poorly trained spy.

Shaking her head with an amused smile she was surprised as she found the female knight peering up at her from the ground in front of the royal stall.

“My lady,” she wore a smile that Morgana would describe as wicked. Or maybe she was just projecting as, when she gave it a second look, the girl’s expression appeared bright and innocent, “I have just heard tale of your bravery.”

Her frown deepened, “What do you mean?”

“The battle of Ealdor. I have heard stories of how you came to their aid and fought alongside Arthur and the other knights to defend it.”

Morgana felt her body tense as she realized what Kara had heard.

The girl seemed playfully amused as she drew out the story of her discovery, “I of course asked them how you had helped, medical aid, staying with the peasants to ensure they stayed safe. But to my surprise they informed me of your battle prowess. Of your years of training with Arthur. Of how you are one of the best fighter’s in Camelot.”

She did not hear ire in the woman’s tone. She would expect it with how Uther had treated her. But then the king had not been happy when he’d heard about her exploits.

“A lady does not belong on the battlefield.”

She was sure Kara had heard this, as the young woman continued, “I must admit I was a little surprised. Not because of your gender, but more because of how you moved when I was training you. You did not move like someone who was skilled with the sword. You seemed tense like you’d never held a sword before,” she performed a sweeping bow as she said, “I must compliment you on your acting skills.”

Morgana felt her body tense under the girl’s playful smile. Like it was all a big joke to her. Like she did not mind being played by Morgana. Or was she amused because she had turned the jest on her? Was that the real reason behind why she’d run her hands over another person as if it was just something she did on the regular.

“You did not feel anything when teaching me?” Morgan pressed her lips together, annoyed at having blurted out the question.

Kara’s smile crooked to the side as she admitted, “No. You seemed out of it. Like someone who did not know anything about the sword.”

That was not what she wanted to hear, but she stopped herself from saying so. She did not know what she meant to say. Or what she actually wanted to hear.

“If I might ask, why did you pretend like you did not know how to fight?”

Morgana was not sure herself as she let her eyes drift off to the side, hoping Kara would drop the subject.

She did, as she shifted to another question pressing on her heart, “Did Arthur not have any objections to you being there? A woman.”

Now she heard the ire. The annoyance at not being shown the same level of respect. Kara’s tone dropped its jovial nature as her mouth set in a firm line. From the way her cerulean eyes sparked Morgana could tell she was thinking about her own station. Being a knight in name only while being completely unable to provide aid to her fellow warriors. To her people.

Her unspoken question was “why did Arthur not see a problem fighting beside you, but can’t even stand to be beside me?”

“I can be exceptionally stubborn,” replied Morgana as she felt the urge to comfort the female knight.

Kara smiled graciously, looking to relax slightly at the words, “I supposed I should try a little harder. I can be stubborn when needed.”

Morgana found herself smiling at the words, “I have a hard time imagining that.”

“When I really want something I can be like a dog with a bone. But you should have noticed this already,” there was a playful twinkle in her eyes that sent Morgana’s stomach to fluttering.

The female knight turned her gaze to the space beside Morgana as the other girl turned to find Uther taking his seat. A sour frown was on his face as the knight greeted him with a pleasant, “Your majesty.”

He cleared his throat before looking away above her head as if he hadn’t seen her at all.

Morgana chastised him as she said, “You shouldn’t be rude to one of your knight’s.”

Uther gave her a cold glare. Frowning she sunk down in her chair, the curl of a smile returning to the edge of her mouth as she watched Kara walk away.

What a strange knight she was.

If only there were something she could say, to do that would free Kara from the bonds of Uther’s fears.

This brought a frown to her face as she gave the man beside her a cold glower that looked to startle the man.

“You look at me as if you wish to kill me.”

There was an idea. If Uther were no longer around Kara wouldn’t be the only one free to be themselves. Arthur would also finally be able to make decisions for himself. And Morgana…her jawline was sharp as she glared at the field ahead.

She might finally be able to find out what she wanted from life. What she needed.

As she considered her eyes drifted to the female knight as she swung her blade around in preparation for the tournament.

Was the thing she wanted the exact thing she also needed?

Her chest heated with thoughts that she did not let herself dwell on as she focused her attention instead on the trumpet as it sounded the signal to begin the games.

____

The sword was the first game.

Everyone was dressed in full armor, which would give Arthur an advantage in hiding his identity. Though it would have done well for Kara as well, she came out onto the field without her helmet as she let the crowd see exactly what she looked like before the fight.

Playing up her role as heel, she bowed at the crowd’s boos before besting her opponent quickly. This only got her more boos and thrown food, which she picked up as she thanked the crowd for, “The free meal.”

While Kara acted amused, Morgana felt annoyed. Uther’s poor treatment was making the citizens think they had every right to treat a knight of Camelot poorly. But regardless of how the king felt, Kara was still one of his knights.

Kara knew this, as she used the tournament to show off her skills and well-earned status as a knight. By her third fight some in the crowd were actually cheering for her. Mostly women, who stopped as soon as their husbands or fathers glared at them.

This did not sit well with Morgana. The next time Kara came up to fight she let out her own cheers, loud and confident.

The female knight looked confused but graciously bowed her head in thanks for the support. Even when Uther glared at Morgana she did not stop, as those in the crowd who had cheered before joined her, bolstered on by Morgana’s courage to stand up for what was right.

When Kara wasn’t on the field, Morgana spent most of her time chatting with Gwen. It helped distract her from the screaming she found so grating.

Arthur claimed it was cathartic. That a true warrior kept his emotions bottled up till the battlefield where he would channel his anger into his strikes.

While the other combatants did this, Kara remained as silent as she had been during training. She only let out the occasional grunt or groan when it was called for. Like when she received an especially hard hit from the large knight with the beard.

Perhaps she had nothing to scream about. Or she saved her release for a different occasion.

Morgana’s ears reddened at the ideas that came to mind. A different kind of scream than what was heard on the battlefield. One that sent shivers through her body. 

Arthur had no problem getting the crowd’s praise even without them knowing who he was. Morgana seemed to be the only one who recognized him beneath his armor disguise. This was obvious from how hard the knight’s fought against him, usually holding back as they did not want to hurt their kind.

While Arthur was more brash than Kara in his fighting technique, he was also able to defeat each of his opponents as well as he moved up the ranks.

When the final two in the tournament were announced, Morgana was not surprised to hear Kara and Arthur’s fake name called.

As the pair stepped onto the field she noticed Kara perform a slight bow to the young man as if signaling to him she knew exactly who he was. But instead of taking it easy, she drew her sword, a determined look on her face that told everyone she was going to give it her all. Arthur’s stance looked relieved, appreciative, as he drew his own blade.

The trumpet sounded.

Arthur twirled his sword in his hand before coming at Kara. They both moved slowly, watching the other carefully, waiting to see the slightest signal of movement.

Arthur was the first to move as he swung in an arch down at Kara, she blocked the blade before kicking out at Arthur, making him stumble back. Another moment where they circled each other, sizing the other up.

“Finish off the witch!” called a man in the crowd.

Morgana felt her skin go cold at the threatening tone, at the choice in words. Sensing her distress, Gwen placed her hand on Morgana’s arm as she assured her, “Arthur will win.”

She frowned but did not correct the girl. She should be rooting for Arthur, but stronger than her connection to him; she wanted Kara to show the world that a woman could be strong. That she could succeed even with everyone set against her.

Arthur came again, poking at Kara’s defense as she moved her blade to block each probing hit. Having fought her once, Arthur knew not to take her lightly.

Morgana knew from her own experience that the prince was looking for a weakness in Kara’s defenses. When he thought he’d found one he came again, swinging hard as Kara lifted her shield to block. Splinters came off the wooden shield as the female knight was jarred by the hard hit.

When the next hit came Kara turned her body with the shield, deflecting the hit off her as she shifted Arthur’s footing. As he stumbled Kara hit at him with her shield, knocking him back as she went on the offensive.

Arthur lifted his own shield now as Kara hit at him.

While Arthur’s hits had been powerful, Kara’s were fast as Arthur was forced to move quickly in order to get his shield up in time to block. He wasn’t able to get it up in time at one point as Kara hit at the prince’s shoulder guard. It was the same arm that held his shield as the hit made his hold on the shield loosen. Taking advantage of this, Kara hit at the shield as she knocked it completely from the prince’s hands.

Without his shield, Arthur was further put on the defensive as he blocked Kara’s attacks with his blade.

Strike.

Block.

Strike.

Block.

Morgana winced as one of Kara’s hits got in, slashing a deep mark into Arthur’s chest plate. The hit made him stumble back as he ended up tripping over his shield. He hit the ground with a great clatter as he scrambled to get back up before—Kara pointed her blade at Arthur, looking from her stance like she was asking him to concede.

Arthur lifted his blade but Kara knocked it away, pressing her blade in closer to his neck as she again looked to more adamantly request his surrender.

The prince’s shoulders slumped before he tossed his blade to the side. The crowd around them let out a mixture of boos and cheers, the boos being louder than the praise. Kara leaned down to offer a hand to Arthur as she helped him up.

In the stands, Morgana noticed Uther tense as he realized he was going to have to congratulate the female knight. As the two came over to the royal stand both bowed their heads as the king rose.

‘Well, um,” the man cleared his throat to stall for time, “You put up a good fight,” he directed this statement at Arthur, “And you,” a frown as he glanced at Kara before lifting his eyes to the side, “Did well.” Even Morgana had trouble making out what he’d said and she was sitting beside him.

“What was that, my king?” inquired Morgana.

Her smirk made Uther’s expression sour even more as he puffed out his chest, cleared his throat as he stated again, slightly more clearly, “Well done.”

Kara bowed her head in thanks before heading off the field.

“Which of our knights was that?” inquired Uther of a nearby guard.

‘Kara of Zo--,” started the man.

Uther lifted his hand to cut him off, “No, not her. The other one. The one that put up a fight.”

The guard shrugged as Morgana did her best to hide an amused smile behind her hand. It was probably for the best Uther not learn that his son had yet again lost a fight to Kara and this time in front of a crowd of people.

Might hurt his already fragile ego and he couldn’t risk having that bruised more. Not when it was already so banged up from having a female knight win his tournament.

____

At the end of the day, Morgana stood still as Gwen helped her out of her gown. As the girl let out the strings of her corset she felt herself expand with her freed breathe.

She was sure the corset was only invented to keep women from having a full breathe—men selfishly wanting to have more air for themselves. Wasting the extra air with their boisterous opinions and arrogant musings. Most of which was focused on women and their bodies and how they should be used.

Like they had any insights or say in the matter.

The thought of men and their opinions of women’s places brought to her mind the memory of Kara on the battlefield. She felt her lips curl with a smile as she recalled the woman’s body as it moved across the ring.

She was just the kind of woman that would drive such men insane, making them use up extra air as they tried to put her in her place. But she would not bend. She was made of stronger stuff—a woman of steel.

“What has you so happy, mistress?” inquired Gwen as she slipped the night gown over Morgana’s head.

“I was just thinking about the tournament.”

In the mirror Morgana saw Gwen smile at the memory, “It was an exciting day. Arthur looked very handsome in his armor.”

“I wouldn’t notice. He’s like a brother to me.”

The handmaid nodded as she walked over to the bed, pulling back the blankets as Morgana headed over to her night stand where she started to undo her hair.

“Did you notice how handsome Merlin looked?”

In the mirror’s reflection, Morgana gave her a raised eyebrow. Then her lip curled with a smile. She had noticed the pair working together to help Arthur at the tournament. Had something blossomed there?

“Yes. Yes, he can be very handsome.”

Gwen smiled shyly to herself, looking almost proud like she’d just proven something to herself.

“I think he finds you handsome as well.”

Morgana’s words looked to startle Gwen, “Finds me attractive?” Morgana nodded slowly, not understanding the confusion, “But he’s not attracted to me.”

Morgana turned as she looked back at the maid, “Then who does he--,” Gwen pointed at her. She looked incredulous as she shook her head, “What? No. Someone of my rank could never be with someone like him. You know this.”

While Gwen nodded like someone who did, she looked broken like someone who had clearly forgotten and gotten themselves attached. But Morgana did not have time to unpack that as she felt herself yawn widely.

Gwen helped her finish letting out her hair.

Morgana’s eyes were heavy as she got into her bed, hearing Gwen’s voice like it was coming in with the ocean waves as she said, “Goodnight, Milady.”

Then Morgana was out as she drifted off with the waves into the ocean of sleep and dreams.

____

Day two of the tournament went by just as smoothly. Arthur secretly competed in the jousting while Kara took on the archery tournament. She did not win, coming in second, but Morgana found herself clapping when the lady knight’s rank was given. As soon as she realized she was doing it she stopped, hiding her hands as other people continued to clap around her.

Uther gave her a glare like he did not appreciate her “rooting for the enemy.” Out on the field she noticed Kara looking at her, grinning, as if she had seen. As if having Morgana on her side gave her great joy.

A blush came to her cheeks as she turned away.

Later a different blush came to her cheeks as she saw Arthur and Kara walking together. The prince had his arm slung over the young woman’s shoulders as they talked amiably.

Glancing to her side, Morgana saw Uther had left. That would be the only reason for Arthur’s brazen camaraderie with the female knight.

The coward.

More than anger burned in her chest as she watched the pair. Beside her, Gwen shifted in her seat, noticing the hard line of her mistress’s jaw. A jaw line that sharpened as she took in a breath, her nostrils flaring.

“Is something the matter, my lady?”

Morgana’s words were clipped as she motioned to the pair, “I just think it’s ridiculous how those two gallivant around whenever Uther isn’t around. From the way Arthur acts you wouldn’t know that just the other day Uther ordered him to humiliate Kara the next time they competed. I don’t recall him mentioning befriending her. Unless it’s one of those ploys to keep your enemies closer to help you destroy them from the inside out,” Her hand tightly gripped the arm of her chair, “But it looks more like he’s gone and fallen for her.”

Gwen’s eyes darted back to the pair before returning to Morgana, “No, I don’t—I don’t think Arthur feels that way about her.” She sounded overly nervous like she had some stake in the pair’s relationship.

This caught Morgana’s full attention as she turned to look at her maid, “What do you know?”

Gwen shook her head quickly, her objections unconvincing as she insisted, “They are just fellow knights. Nothing more.”

Though she tried to sound confident, there was a tinge of worry in her eyes as they shifted back to the pair.

Was it concern for Morgana’s benefit? It wasn’t like she wanted to be with Arthur. He was like a brother to her.

And it couldn’t be about Kara. She was a woman. So there was no way Morgana was feeling jealousy for her benefit.

Still, she felt her frown deepen as she watched Arthur lean in to whisper something to Kara. The girl threw back her head, letting out a boisterous laugh. Morgana’s glare fixed on the back of Arthur’s head like she was trying to burn a hole there.

Later in the day she spotted Gwen talking with Arthur. The girl’s hands fluttered around as she looked as if she was talking to him about something of great importance. He frowned as he shook his head adamantly, using his own hands to emphasize his words as he looked to insist his point.

Was the maid fighting for Morgana’s sake? She really didn’t need to go to the trouble.

“Your maidservant and Arthur need to be more mindful about flirting in public.”

Morgana frowned, the hard line of her mouth increasing when she found Kara standing beside her.

“You should probably warn them to be more discreet.”

Morgana would have laughed if the comment had been less ridiculous, “Gwen and Arthur.”

Kara gave her a curious look like you didn’t know? Then shrugged.

“Arthur would not flirt with Gwen,” continued Morgana incredulously, “Why would he?”

“Because they are attracted to one another,” Kara said it like it was obvious.

“Then Arthur is being cruel. He knows very well that nothing can come of a flirtation with Gwen. They are of completely different ranks.”

Kara folded her arms as she gave Morgana a studying expression, “You are of the opinion that ranks matter?”

Her frown deepened at the thought that someone would think of her that way, “Of course not. But that is just how society sees it. How Uther would see it. The king would never allow Arthur to marry someone of Gwen’s rank.”

“Just like how he would never let me be a knight. Or someone of magic live.”

Morgana felt queasy. Did Kara know something about her? Just the thought that someone might know about her strange dreams caused her physical pain

“But that is not the case for everyone,” continued Kara, “I come from an island where women can be knights and people marry for love. Not for money or rank. And not even because of gender,” Morgana’s eyes widened at the implication of the knight’s words. “Women marry women. My sister married a woman.”

All Morgana could think was how scandalous but as she gazed into those cerulean eyes she wondered—was it really so terrible? To marry someone for love regardless of everything the world said was wrong.

“I’d like to take you there someday,” the female knight’s voice was quiet. Soft. As she gazed at Morgana in a way no one had ever looked at her before. The look made her heart flutter like it was being lifted by the wings of a bird.

And without knowing why she answered just as softly, “I’d like that.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Morgana have a cliff side encounter that leaves both of them--breathless?

Gwen seemed to have other things on her mind. Every time they were together the girl seemed completely distracted.

When Morgana tried to talk to the girl, she always felt like they were having a one sided conversation. And every time she asked if anything was wrong Gwen always insisted things were fine.

It was obvious they weren’t.

Morgana’s worry increased one day when Gwen ran into a wall, dropping the basket of wash.

What was bothering her friend?

Was it something she could fix?

“Gwen, please,” Morgana took her friend’s hand, stopping her as the pair made their way down one of the castle’s many halls, “Tell me if there is something I can help you with. I want to be there for you. Even if it’s just to lend an ear.”

The place they had stopped had open archways that allowed them to look down into the outer courtyard. The castle knights were entering then, come back from a training excursion. As she waited for Gwen to reply she searched the group of knights for the familiar crest of Kara’s shield. It wasn’t until she realized that Kara wasn’t among them that she wondered at why she even cared.

Turning back to her maid, Gwen’s expression was unsure as she finally let out a sigh as she admitted, “Arthur has been trying everything to get Kara to leave. Uther is treating him so poorly because he hasn’t succeeded.”

Morgana’s expression went from concern to annoyance in one heartbeat.

Brightening slightly as Morgana’s expression dimmed, Gwen inquired hopefully, “You seem close to Kara. Is there anything you could do to help Arthur succeed?”

Morgana didn’t know what she’d done to give the girl that impression. She only spoke to Kara when the girl insisted on standing beside her as she rattled on about her homeland. Morgana had a mind to snap back, “If you miss it so much why don’t you return?” but she had as of yet not gathered enough spite. Right now it was still only as annoying as a fly buzzing around her ear. But just because she hadn’t told off the knight did not mean they were friends.

She didn’t even listen to half the things the woman side. Ridiculous things like her misunderstanding about Arthur and Gwen’s relationship.

Her jaw felt tight as she replied, “I can’t believe you are asking me to help Arthur with this ridiculous scheme. She is one of Camelot’s best knights and the king is a fool to not give her a chance.”

Gwen’s brow furrowed as she took a hold of Morgana’s hand, “Please, Morgana, this is important to Arthur. What’s more ridiculous is how she is going around pretending to be a knight. She must have known it was wrong or she wouldn’t have let them think she was a man at first.”

“She’s proven herself on the field many times, Gwen. You watched with me how she bested Arthur at the sword competition in the games. It’s not like she’s untrained. And where she’s from she is a knight. Just because she’s here you don’t think that should hold up? As the king said when he first met her, her record more than proves her skills as a knight.”

“But, she’s a woman. That has to make the other knight’s uncomfortable.”

“I don’t see how. They could use a little more diversity. Men have one way of thinking and having a woman on the team could be a valuable asset. Remember how we helped Arthur save Merlin’s town? We were women and we were indispensable. You didn’t think then that it was a ridiculous idea, women fighting with men. What has changed your mind about it now?”

Gwen looked away, too ashamed to answer. Or too set in her defense of Arthur to admit her wrong.

“Why are you defending her, Morgana? She’s not good for Camelot.”

“What’s not good for Camelot is the king’s closed mindedness and his fear of change. And change is coming Gwen, whether he likes it or not.”

As soon as she said it her vision clouded as for a moment she saw an image of Gwen standing regally wearing a crown. Arthur stood behind her wearing Uther’s crown.

The image was fading from her mind as her skin tingled like she had summoned some power within her to predict the future. It made her light headed as Gwen reached out, helping her to a window ledge.

Of all the things Gwen could have asked her, of all the things she could have requested, why did it have to be something involving Arthur?

She would have done anything for Gwen.

Anything.

But Arthur?

“Why are you suddenly so concerned with Arthur?”

The maid’s eyes dropped as realization dawned on Morgana.

Kara had been right.

Her jawline tightened.

“Gwen, you are heading down a dead end road. Things with Arthur can’t go anywhere. I don’t want to see you get hurt,” though her heart was still burning with anger, her voice was soft a she took her friend’s hand.

Gwen squeezed her hand back as she lightly shook her head, “It’s not what you think, Morgana. I just want what is best for Camelot.”

“And Kara would be best for Camelot. It would also be best for Camelot if Arthur learned to stand up for himself and stopped giving into the king’s demands.”

“He’s the king.”

“That doesn’t make him right. Kings make mistakes. You know first-hand how wrong he can be, Gwen.”

She could see the pain in her friend’s eyes as she remembered what had happened with her father.

Morgana felt bad for reminding her but, “He needs to decide for himself what he believes. He can’t rely on his father making all his decision for him. Doing that makes him weaker as he can just blame his decisions on his father. Claiming he was only doing what his father ordered. In the end, he made the decision to listen to his father and has only himself to blame when he doesn’t like the results.”

The heat burning her chest told her she could not speak on the topic a moment longer. Dismissing Gwen, she headed down the opposite way from the girl.

She could not believe that Gwen would use their friendship like that. Use their connection to help Arthur.

The wave of dizziness hit her again as hot tears gathered in her eyes. Steadying herself against the stone wall her vision was taken over again by another vision. This one was of a round faced girl with curly blonde hair. She was pointing a crossbow at Morgana as she heard her own voice inquire, “How could you do this, Eve? I thought we were friends.”

The young woman sneered like Morgana’s confusion was all a joke to her, “That’s what Lex wanted you to think.”

It felt like the world around her was growing dim as she dug her nails into the stone wall, just managing through a strong will to keep her body upright.

“Morgana,” a hand gripped her arm, relieving her muscles as the hand took over the job of keeping her upright.

When her head cleared she looked back to find the owner of the hand looking at her with concern in their eyes.

“Kara?”

The girl smiled softly, “Are you okay?”

As soon as her head was completely clear of the vision she realized the woman’s hand was holding her arm. She pulled away, putting on a haughty expression as she snapped out a, “Thank you for your concern, but I am fine.”

The girl’s smile faded into a frown, “Why do you do this?” her tone sounded hurt, as she continued, “Why do you push me away whenever I try to reach out? And yet, when I’m not there, you defend me.”

Her jaw flexed as her nostrils flared, “Were you listening to my conversation with Gwen?”

Kara’s lips scrunched with a guilty expression, “You were standing in a public hallway. And I’ll admit I was curious to hear what you thought of me when you were in private.” Morgana’s mouth opened to make one of her scathing retorts but Kara charged on as she explained, “You give me so many mixed signals. Most of the time you’re distant. But then there are times you let me teach you sword fighting, even though you don’t need it. Or you worry about my neck when you find me reading a book on magic in the library. But the rest of the time you act like the rest of the people here,” she motioned out, “Like I don’t belong here. Like you hate everything about me.”

Her voice had a break to it that made Morgana want to reach out and touch her cheek. To pull her close and assure her that she didn’t hate her. Instead of doing that she kept her hands firmly fixed at her sides.

Kara’s eyes looked pained as she admitted, “I can’t tell if you really, really like me and just don’t know how to deal with that, or if you really, really hate me and can’t even stand the sight of me.”

Her brow furrowed as she felt the edge of her mouth twitch, her lips unsure of which direction to go.

How did one react to such a bold question about their feelings? Especially when one was so unsure themself.

The way Kara looked at her, with those big puppy dog eyes just made Morgana want to…want to what?

A soft sigh escaped her lips.

It made her want to reach out and stroke Kara’s cheek with the knuckles of her fingers. To feel the soft peach fuzz of her skin against her hand.

Instead she turned away, feeling her heart pound with an emotion other than anger. An emotion she’d never felt before.

A feeling that scared her more than any of her dreams ever had.

____

More knights joined Camelot.

Many at first tried to show off to the lady knight. Since Uther had never officially given her a job, Kara had taken it upon herself to train the knights.

Those who liked to show off during practice soon learned that Kara wasn’t interested in them.

To Morgana’s great relief, the female knight had stopped using her more “hands on” method of training. If not, those knights might have stuck around longer.

Once they realized she was all business, they joined the ranks of the other knights who tolerated, or avoided her completely.

There were a few, two, who actually showed gallantry as they seemed to realize that knighthood wasn’t about gender but heart.

And Kara had the heart of a knight.

Morgana had once been in the market when a pair of peasant children had tried to get away from a stand with a stolen apple. When the vendor caught them, Kara insisted she had hired the boys to get her the apple.

“I’m sorry; I must not have explained well enough that I still needed to have the apple paid for.”

She had then offered the vendor a bag of coins as she told him she would continue to send the boys to collect her apples.

“In fact, anyone who just wants to grab an apple off your stand, consider this payment. And if you start to run out of gold let me know and I’ll give you more.”

It was the kind of chivalry that Morgana did not see in many knights. But the two new knights that had become especially close to Kara were of this type.

One was a large man, Percival, with large muscles that seemed just to be there to help him carry around his big heart. The other was a little rougher around the edges, but just as kind with an eager smile and a willingness to help everyone around him. His name was Gwaine.

With these men, Kara formed a fast friendship. It wasn’t until she had someone to hang around, that Morgana realized how lonely the female knight must have been. How relieved she was to have someone on her side.

She had always appeared bright and smiling, but seeing her with the two men, Morgana realized that her smile had always been a mask. A cover to hide the pain she was feeling deep inside. Now she finally had friends. Allies.

When Kara had played it off, like doing things on her own, of having all of Camelot against her did not bother her, Morgana had wanted to keep her distance. She did not need someone like that in her life.

But seeing now that they both felt like outsiders and were just trying to survive made Morgana want to get to know Kara more. She realized she had never really given her a chance, just assumed things about her.

It might even do Morgana some good to reach out and have someone else in her life besides Gwen. Honestly, if Gwen left her at this point she would have no one else to rely on. And Morgana hated the idea of being alone. Of being on her own.

She already felt enough of an outcast. Already had enough problems with her nightmares, but knowing she had a best friend by her side made it not so bad.

But was Gwen actually her friend or was it more just obligation because she was her servant? While they were friends Morgana was nice to her and Gwen didn’t want to risk that changing.

Or was it worse than obligation?

Pity.

She was only nice because she knew Morgana had no one else, and though the king’s ward had so much, it was sad to think that her only friend was her maidservant.

That line of thinking put Morgana in a sour mood as she had her horse saddled. She needed to get out. A ride would help clear her mind of such dark and troubling thoughts.

Though it was forbidden she took the wooded path away from Camelot. Even with the threat of danger there was a beauty in it she could not find in the countryside with its manmade hills and perfect line of trees. It all looked so fake, constructed in man’s methodical ways, not like nature which grew how it wanted.

Wild.

Free.

Just as she longed to be.

By the time she came out of the woods she was breathing easier. The crisp air clearing her thoughts.

The horse slowed as she walked it to a cliff’s edge. Getting down she tied the horse to a nearby tree as she looked out over the valley.

Trees rolled off into forever, many older than Camelot itself and some which would be around long after Camelot was gone.

Nothing lasted forever.

She heard a sound behind her. Turning she watched Kara pull her horse to a stop, looking startled for a moment at the sight of Morgana.

“Oh, my lady, I did not expect…” her jaw flexed as she searched for the words, “I will leave you to the view.”

She nodded her head then turned away as if to leave.

Though Morgana would usually let her go, she found herself calling out, “Wait.”

The girl seemed even more surprised by this than when she had found her.

But this was what Morgana wanted. What she had decided to do from now on. Not push the girl away, but instead extend a hand of friendship.

“There’s plenty of view for the both of us,” Morgana motioned back to the valley.

Kara’s smile was hesitant, like she was expecting some kind of trick or trap. Getting down from her horse she tied it up before heading over, keeping a good distance between her and Morgana.

The air between them was as tense as if they had had a fight. And like after a fight she did not know what to say to fix things. To repair the damage that had been done when words were spoken in anger.

People rarely gave her a chance to say, “I’m sorry.”

“Does your home look anything like this?” she decided to start with something she knew the girl liked. Something she had before ignored.

Kara’s smile was soft as she gazed out at the view, “Very similar. There is a river that runs through a line of trees like this,” she pointed out the area with her finger, “It shines silver in the sunlight and in your tongue would be called the Moon’s Tears.”

“Sounds so tragic.”

Kara nodded, her smile faltering, “It is based off a very sad tale. The story goes there was a young fisher whose home was located in a barren land that only had shrubs and thin trees growing in it. There was a small stream which he would often fish at with his net in order to feed his family. The fish that swam there were no larger than three fingers and he often could not catch as many as he needed to feed everyone. Whenever that happened he would bring the fish home, telling the family that he had already eaten his share back at the river. He would then leave them to enjoy the rest as he headed off to fill his empty stomach with berries and tree bark.”

Kara’s jaw flexed at the memory of the story as Morgana found herself transfixed by the woman’s voice, “One day, after he had brought back only enough food for his family, he headed off to the woods to fill his empty stomach with tree bark. His family had been starting to suspect that he was keeping back the best fish for himself. That he always headed off afterwards to finish whatever catches he had saved for himself. They decided to follow him in order to catch him in the act.

“Meanwhile the young man had gone back to the river in hopes of catching some crayfish. It was night then so he wasn’t hopeful, but his stomach was growling so much he was sure he would collapse if he didn’t satisfy it. In the moonlight he saw it, a shining silver. Quickly he reached out, catching the object in his hands as he pulled it from the water. There in his grasp he held a large fish. He had never seen a fish so large swimming in that river before. “

Kara frowned as she said, ‘While the fish were usually very small, like sardines, this one was as large around as his bicep. He did not know how such a large fish could have moved down a stream so shallow compared to its body. As he wondered the moon above shone out, calling down to him as it said, “I have been watching you, kind fisherman. I have seen how faithful you have been to your family and I wish to reward you. This fish is a gift for you and your family.” The young man smiled, thanking the moon for her gift.

“As he headed home, a spring in his step, he came across his family. They looked displeased when they saw him with the fish, seeing it as confirmation that their suspicions had been correct. When they confronted him about it he insisted that was not the case. That the fish had been a gift from the moon goddess. Of course they were blinded by greed and did not believe his stories as they wrestled the fish from him.

“As he called out for them to wait, “We can share it,” his elder brother grabbed a rock, slamming it against his head, silencing his protests forever. As the family headed off with the prize, the moon above turned red for the first time, angered at the families callous treatment of the young man.

“When the family got home to eat the fish, before they could cut into it, it came alive, tripling in size before it consumed each of them. After that it flopped back to the river where it thrashed about, digging a trench with its body as it started to widen the edges of the river. The fish continued to thrash about as it made its way down the stream, widening the sides of the river as it went down. From above great silver tears fell from the moons’ eyes as she filled the long ditch left by the fish as the stream became a large rushing, gushing river. The barren land around the stream quickly grew up around it, trees blossoming and growing as they filled the once flat land. From that day on the surrounding area became a lush fertile land as the river continued to flow through it, looking like silver in the sunlight. A constant reminder of the moon’s heartbreak over the treatment of such a kind soul.”

Morgana found herself tearing up as she turned away to wipe at her eyes, “That’s such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it.”

Kara nodded, her gaze fixed on the ground as the story looked to have also brought her spirits down.

Wishing to bring her back up, Morgana admitted, “I would very much like to see that river someday. If you are still offering to take me to your island someday.”

The female knight actually winced, her smile coming off strained as she admitted, “I shouldn’t have offered.”

Morgana felt her heart drop.

Had she been so cold she’d lost her opportunity to befriend the girl?

The other woman’s throat bobbed as she looked to struggle swallowing. Her voice was strained as she explained, “I can’t take you home with me because I no longer have a home.”

Seeing Morgana did not understand, she explained, “While I was away working with another kingdom, my island was attacked. They burned everything to the ground and killed everyone I loved.”

She felt her heart sting with pain as she lifted her hand to reach out in comfort. It was like there was an invisible barrier between her and the knight as she stopped just before touching her, taking her hand back to her side.

How had she missed seeing this pain that so clearly radiated from the woman now?

Why had she never questioned the reason that Kara was no longer fighting for her own people?

She had been so self-absorbed, so callous in her treatment of this kind soul.

“I am so sorry. I—the way you spoke of it made me believe it still existed.”

She nodded slowly, a faint smile coming to her face, “That is because it does. In my heart,” she touched the spot, “Even though it doesn’t exist in this world, my memories and love for it still exist here. They always will.”

Before Morgana could muster up the courage to comfort her, the great thundering rumble of horse hooves sounded behind them as they both turned to see two men riding up.

The men pulled to a stop, leering at the pair of women as one inquired, “Are you Kara of Krypton?”

Before Morgana could stop her Kara nodded, “I am. May I ask who is inquiring?”

The man grinned, thinking himself clever as he replied, “Your doom.”

Together he and the other man drew their swords as they got down from their horses. Kara drew her own sword as she stepped in front of Morgana protectively.

“Stay behind me.”

Morgana moved closer to the female knight. With bandits in front and a cliff drop behind she didn’t have much of a choice.

“Let her leave and you can face me on my own.”

The men sneered, not saying anything but signaling as they pressed in that they were not going to agree to her terms.

The men charged as Kara focused more on defense, doing her best to maintain her position so they weren’t pushed off the cliff. Even with all her effort eventually Morgana felt her foot slip over the edge before she pulled it back.

Kara noticed as she shifted from defense to offense as her attacks came fast and furious as she pushed the men back.

There was a glint off to the side as Morgana watched a third man peek out from the woods. In his hands he held a crossbow which he pointed directly at Kara’s chest. Panic shook Morgana’s chest as she realized the knight was not wearing her armor and a hit like that could kill her.

As soon as Morgana realized what was going to happen she felt a tightness in her chest, the hard grip of fear. Its press on her throat reminded her there was nothing she could do. She was useless.

Nothing more than a burden.

A jinx that was going to get Kara killed. The last of her people dead because of Morgana.

A great scream filled with fear and anger issued from her throat.

No matter how hard she tried she could never do enough. She would never be the one to help people. It was always someone else who had to save the people she wound up putting in danger.

Just like Kara now.

People like Arthur and Merlin were the heroes and she was never enough.

The scream came louder as she felt a great wave of energy come off her, pushing Kara forward as she stumbled while the bandits in front of her were sent flying back. Even the arrow that was flying at her was knocked back as it uselessly fell to the ground.

While everything else went one way, Morgana flew back the other as she found herself flying over the cliff’s edge. Like in her dream she felt weightless as all she saw for a moment was blue. It frightened her for only a moment before she thought to herself: this is fine. This is what is meant to happen. It’s better this way.

Everyone would be better off without her.

Just as she closed her eyes, feeling peace in this thought, her fall stopped as something grabbed her arm tightly. Her eyes came open just as she slammed into the cliff wall. Looking up she saw Kara’s strained expression as she held tight to Morgana’s arm, half of her body hanging over the cliff as she struggled to keep them both up.

“Let me go,” ordered Morgana.

I’ve accepted my fate.

“Never,” came Kara’s grunt of a reply.

Past her, one of the bandits stepped into view, sneering as he looked over the edge to see what Kara was holding onto. With her attention focused solely on Morgana, she did not notice the man as he lifted his sword up in readiness to stab her through.

As the blade came down, Kara’s instincts kicked in as she shifted to the side, making it so that the sword missed her vital organs, instead piercing through her shoulder as she let out a pained cry. Her hold on Morgana slipped for only a moment before she held tighter.

“And they said we’d have trouble with you,” stated the bandit as he pulled his sword free.

Another pained breathe from Kara, but she did not loosen her hold this time.

Before the man could deliver the final blow hoof beats sounded as a voice cried out, “Halt!”

There were sounds of a scuffle, a pained cry of death and the clash of swords. Then it was silent. All the while Kara kept a hold of Morgana, sweat beading on her brow as blood started to drip down her arm.

“Kara,” Morgana recognized the voice as belonging to Percy. He was the first to come into view as he peered down at what she was holding, his eyes widening when he saw Morgana. Bending down he reached out as well, calling for Morgana to take his offered hand.

Another head, Gwaine’s as he called back behind him for assistance, “Arthur, it’s Morgana.”

‘What?”

The Prince was the next to come over as together the three men and Kara pulled Morgana to the cliff top. Though they were there, though she was hurt, Kara did not let go of Morgana’s hand till she was safe. Then the girl rolled onto her back, looking like even breathing caused her pain. She looked pale especially with the red of her blood staining the whole front of her shirt.

“We need to get her back to Gaius,” instructed Arthur.

As the two knights helped Kara onto her horse Arthur checked to make sure Morgana hadn’t been hurt.

She pushed away his worried hands. ‘What are you doing here?”

“Gwaine heard some men talking about taking payment to harass the lady knight. We’d heard she’d gone out for a ride and came to check on her.”

Morgana’s voice was tight as she inquired “You mean to make sure they succeeded.”

Arthur frowned, looking offended at the very idea, “No.”

She snorted, “As if you and Uther really care if she ever comes back to Camelot.” Before he could make any more excuses for himself she got up on her horse, pressing on after the knights ahead.

Her heart was pounding when she caught up. Gwaine was riding beside Kara, keeping his hand on her shoulder as she sat slumped in her saddle.

Scarier than how pale the knight looked was what Morgana only realized once the danger was past. Kara was hurt like this because of her.

Because of magic.

Her magic.

____

Kara wasn’t recovering even with Gaius’ help. Days later she was still pale, still covered in sweat, and still labored in her breathing.

“I’ve done everything I can,” reported the healer in a sad tone when Morgana pressed him.

“Then do more.”

The old man shook his head, “This is beyond me at this point. It would take a miracle for her to live.”

The man dipped his head before leaving, as if giving her time to spend with Kara in her final moments.

Kara’s eyes were closed, her skin wet with sweat, her lips pale like sun bleached fish. Not silver like the fish in the story she had told just before the attack.

If not for the rattled shaking of her chest as she breathed Morgana would think she was already dead.

There was a chair nearby. She collapsed into it, feeling her eyes sting with regret. Just when she’d decided to be friends with the girl, to accept her, she was going to lose her.

Even before making friends with her she was going to lose her.

She knew she shouldn’t be thinking about herself in this moment, still, she couldn’t help but consider how she must be cursed.

Cursed to always lose.

Cursed to never find happiness.

Cursed to never have someone in her life who might make her existence bearable.

The girl’s hand was cold in hers, icy like the stones beneath the castle.

Pressing it to her cheek, her words came out choked as she said, “I’m so sorry this happened to you, Kara. This is all my fault.”

She was surprised when the girl let out a pained groan, “What makes you think that?”

Biting her lip, she struggled for a moment before admitting, “If I hadn’t been there you would have had no problem fighting off those bandits. You wouldn’t have been worrying about protecting me. You really shouldn’t have. I’m not worth saving.”

Her eyes stung with tears. But sharper than the sting of tears was Kara’s voice as she said, “Don’t say that abbot yourself.”

She shook away the argument in the girl’s tone as she assured her, “There is darkness in me that I can’t always control. It would be better for everyone if I just--.”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Even though she looked like she was going to pass out, Kara sat up on her elbows, fixing Morgana with an intensely determined expression, “Everyone has potential for good or bad. It all boils down to the choice of what you will be. Even though you may feel darkness in you, you get to decide whether or not it will control you. You make your own decisions. You decide.

“Even if I die, if I had a second chance I would do it all over again. Cause, Morgana,” her shoulder flexed as she put all her weight on one elbow while lifting up her hand, pressing it to Morgana’s cheek as she said, “you are someone I would risk death for a hundred times over.”

Morgana pressed Kara’s hand into her cheek, turning her face into the palm as tears slid down, tumbling across Kara’s fingers, “No I’m not.”

A scoff from the girl, which sounded out of place in the current situation, “You don’t get it, Morgana. I have chosen to believe you are someone worth saving. Worth fighting for. There’s nothing you can say to change my mind. Nothing you can do to make me believe otherwise.”

Her eyes closed as she finished her sentence by laying back. Her breathing slowed as she faded back into sleep.

Without fully understanding why, Morgana leaned down, placing a light kiss on the lady knight’s forehead.

“I won’t let you die.”

A determination steeled her face as her jaw flexed. If a miracle was what it would take, then a miracle she would get.

Storming out of the room she thundered own the hall heading straight for the throne room. The doors seemed to move before she even touched them, slamming against the back walls as she entered.

Uther looked startled, giving her a confused look when he realized it was her. “Morgana, what are you--.”

“Kara is lying in there dying because of me. Because she was trying to protect me. Now it’s our turn to save her. She is a knight of Camelot and she is a great asset to you and you need to do everything in your power to ensure she is not lost.”

The king frowned, looking like he was struggling to find a reason to disagree with her. “Gaius already told us he has tried everything. There is nothing more we can do. It would take a miracle to save her.”

Morgana felt her hands tighten into fists as she stated through clenched teeth, “Then find a miracle. Let’ get her a druid.”

Uther frowned. “Morgana,” his voice deepening in warning.

But she ignored his tone as she reminded him, “They have methods of healing that Gaius doesn’t even know. It doesn’t even have to be magic, but they know herbs and healing methods that--.”

“Morgana, stop. You are heading into territory that I am not willing to enter.”

“Even for a knight of the realm? Even for one of your best warriors?”

He frowned as if to say, I don’t know about that.

“You haven’t even given her a chance. She could do so much good for this kingdom and you won’t even allow her. You keep banishing her to “guard” the caste, wasting her potential, and now you are wasting her life. You won’t even put aside your ridiculous fears for a chance to save her.”

Uther’s own jaw was tight as he growled, “Morgana, you are treading on thin ice.”

“And you are a fool,” her voice went deep like a roll of thunder as a peel seemed to sound above.

Some looked up as Uther continued to glare at her.

Beside him, Arthur stood as he gently stated, “Morgana, this is hard on all of us.”

Morgana’s eyes flashed as they turned on the prince, “Really, Arthur? Because I would think you would be relieved. I would not expect it to be hard on someone who has been trying to edge her out for months. But then, why should a Daddy’s boy feel guilty at only doing what his father ordered. It’s easier for him to let his father think for him than to make decisions for himself.”

Uther slammed his fist down on his arm rest, “Morgana! I advise you to stop talking before you say something you will regret.”

“The only thing I regret is being your ward.”

She turned, stalking out of the room as a strange wind rushed through the throne room, putting out all the candles before pulling the doors closed behind her.

She didn’t notice any of this as her mind was focused on the one thing she was resolved to do. Save Kara.

If Uther wasn’t going to do something, if Arthur wasn’t going to step up, she would do it herself. She would be the hero. She would do what was right even if it meant doing it alone.

But before that, she had one final option.

Back in the medical hall, Merlin looked startled as Morgana stormed into the room.

“Morg--.”

“Merlin, I need your help. The druid boy, you know where his people are, don’t you?”

The man servant stuttered as his eyes darted around the room, “I don’t--.”

“Please, Kara doesn’t have time for this. If I am going to save her I need to find those druids. I know you know where they are. Help me. I want to save her.”

Merlin pressed his lips together, looking torn between doing what was right and what was the law.

“Merlin, you know she is a good person. She shouldn’t die. Not for me. I should be the one fighting for life. The world needs more people like her. If we can do something to save her we have to try. Can’t we at least try?”

Merlin looked back at Kara, his expression growing gentle as he watched the girl struggle to breathe.

Seeing she was winning him over, she pressed in closer, taking a hold of his arm as she reminded him, “We’ve already lost enough good people because of Uther’s fears.” She watched Merlin’s eyes cloud as he recalled all the innocents that had been lost because no one had stepped up in time. Because no one had done anything to save them. Because the king had condemned them without considering mercy for a moment.

She squeezed his arm tighter as she said, “They might have some healing method or even some magic that could save her.”

His eyes softened. “Morgana, you know Uther wouldn’t allow this.”

“Uther may have condemned her to her fate, but I am not letting her go so easily. If there is some way we can save her we need to try it. But I need your help.” She slid her hand down to his as she gripped it tightly, “Please, Merlin. Please help me.”

The fire she felt burning in her chest ignited in his own eyes as his gaze set with determination, “Alright, Morgana, I’ll help you.”

____

With Merlin’s help, Kara made a full recovery. While Uther wasn’t pleased he also seemed relieved as he informed Kara about her being promoted to field duty once recovered.

It was a few weeks after Kara had recovered, a few days after she’d returned to active duty, that Morgana had trouble sleeping.

In the library she looked up to find Kara watching her, a curious expression on her face.

Her eyebrow arched as she inquired, “Can I help you?”

Kara smiled, “You’ve already done so much, I should at least help you once before you do anything more for me.”

She frowned as her eyes dropped to the pages of the book, “I haven’t done anything for you.”

“Then you weren’t the one that convinced Merlin to go to the druids for a cure?”

Her jaw flexed, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Then the conversation I heard between you and him was just a hallucination caused by my fever?”

“It would appear so.”

She turned the page in her book, doing her best to appear nonplussed even as she felt the muscles in her neck tense.

There was a pause as Kara stepped closer, kneeling down in front of the desk Morgana was using for reading. Lifting her eyes she found Kara resting her chin on her arms as she cutely gazed up at her.

“Then was I also hallucinating when you saved me from that arrow at the cliff’s side?”

Her whole body went rigid as she realized she’d been caught. She felt cold, cornered, and utterly alone.

A hand touched hers as she looked up into two cerulean eyes. They gazed at her softly as Kara told her, “It’s okay. I’m not going to tell anyone. I just wanted you to know that I know. That it’s okay. And to thank you for saving me.”

Her throat felt tight as she choked out, “Don’t thank me. Whatever I did is the reason you ended up hurt. Whatever power I might have doesn’t help people, it only hurts them.”

Kara squeezed her hand, “All things can be used for good or evil. It’s how we use them that decides their intent. And you were trying to save me. That’s good.”

“What’s so good about us both almost falling to our deaths?”

Kara smiled, a smile that made Morgana’s breath hitch as her heart gasped.

“Morgana, don’t you realize? You give me wings.”

In that moment she remembered her dream of Kara flying. Of being held by her as they floated up above that very same cliff’s edge.

Had it been a premonition?

“Are you,” she paused, hesitating on saying the words aloud, “Magic?”

Kara beamed, “Only when I’m with you,” her mouth shifted to the side in a grin as she added, “And I guess I have been known to set people’s faces aflame from across the room.”

Morgana felt her own face flush as Kara gave her a not so gallant wink.

Her voice came out just above a whisper as she asked, “You’re not afraid of me?”

“Of course not. Magic isn’t something inherently evil. It is like anything in the world. In the right hands it can be good or it can be bad. It’s not something automatically to be feared. So why should I be afraid that you have magic? It’s a part of you and I like you. So I like your magic. You having it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

It felt as if her head had filled with bubbles, which made it hard for her to focus on the things Kara was saying. Each bubble floated past her, containing words like “I like you.” “Your magic doesn’t scare me.” But just as she was about to grab them they slipped through her fingers as they popped, letting the words drop away into obscurity.

Her eyes stung as she choked out the words, “You like me.”

Kara’s hand was gentle as it touched her cheek, her fingers lightly touching her so that her skin tingled, “Of course I do.”

A wave of relief hit her so hard she felt like she was going to drown. But she wasn’t scared even as she was plunged beneath the waves. Instead she felt so relieved she found herself leaning in to plant a kiss on Kara’s lips. It was so quick, so sudden she could almost believe it hadn’t happened. That she had just imagined it.

Just dreamed it.

But as she pulled back the twinkle in Kara’s eyes told her it had happened.

The curl at the edges of the knight’s mouth confirmed it further as she inquired, “What was that for?”

The sparkle and grin made Morgana think it was nothing more than a joke to her.

Her face heated as she insisted, “It was just a thank you kiss for saving me. That’s all. Don’t read into it,” her words were clipped as she rose, the chair behind her letting out a loud cry of protest as it scraped across the stone floor.

She turned to go, stopping as Kara’s hand grabbed hers. Before she could pull against it, Kara pulled her in as she found herself colliding with the lady knight’s chest. Having reached up to brace herself for the impact, Morgana found her hand resting on the woman’s chest, just above her heart which beat harder than she would expect from a knight that found herself in dire situations on a daily basis.

What had her so worked up?

“Morgana,” her name came out like a whisper, like a breath, like the beginning of a spell.

Lifting her eyes, the look in the knight’s eyes made her breathe stop as for a moment she was lost in her gaze. Like the sky at dusk. Or the sea on a warm summer day with a light breeze blowing across the calm waters.

‘I--.”

Morgana didn’t let her finish as she used her free hand to cup the back of Kara’s head as she pulled her down to her. Their lips pressed together. In that moment she knew for a fact that Kara was indeed magic. Not in the way she had thought but in the way that she made Morgana feel.

She felt Kara smile against her lips as she breathed, “You’re so pretty.” The knight’s fingers were in her hair, tangled in her curls as they pulled back for a moment, inches apart, practically sharing breath.

Her eyes gazed into Morgana’s as if searching for something.

Was she looking for Morgana to doubt her?

Before then she wouldn’t have believed such a statement. But here in this moment, Kara could have told her that the earth was round and she would have believed her.

Putting on a wicked grin, she pulled Kara closer as she practically purred, “You should see me in a crown.”

Then their lips pressed together again as if drawn by some outside source. A desire that was greater than them. Than this moment now. Than time itself. A force that would always bring them together regardless of whatever else was going on around them.

A force as strong as destiny.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana hears something in the catacombs beneath Camelot that changes the course of her life forever.

When they kissed the muscles of Kara’s jaw flexed under Morgana’s fingers as the shape of her body fit into hers. The female knight’s arms were strong as they wrapped around her, drawing her even closer like she wanted them to occupy the same space.

Morgana’s own hand pressed against the small of the knight’s back as Kara’s hands slid over her waist, hips, and the small of her back. Their mouths moved against one another’s, deepening the kiss until they were drowning.

“Kara,” she said the name like a breath. Like it was her air.

As she traced the lines, the curves of Kara’s jawline, Kara played with her necklace. The jewels felt cold against her skin until Kara leaned in, her hot breath making the skin on Morgana’s neck tingle. Lifting the jewels up, Kara started to kiss the space the necklace had once occupied.

With her hands on Kara’s jaw she could feel it as she said her name, “Morgana.”

It still felt so nice to hear the way Kara said her name. When she spoke the word it was like she was casting a spell that made it so that they were no longer Kara of Krypton, the knight, or Morgana, the ward of Uther Pendragon. She wasn’t even Morgana, the woman who had always longed to belong, to be loved. Now she was Morgana, the woman who had found everything she desired in the arms of this mythical, magical woman that was Kara.

But it wasn’t really magic. If it had been she would have been able to stay in Kara’s arms forever. Instead they always had that moment where they had to come apart. A time when they had to return to the real world where they were not alone. Where they were not allowed to be together.

During those times they had to keep their feelings for one another hidden. Secret. But it wasn’t always that easy.

To help with the ache of separation that came with being in the same room, but worlds apart, Kara developed a secret language just for them.

Whenever Kara reached up to squeeze above her heart she was signaling to Morgana I love you.

When Morgana would rub her thumb over the edge of her armrest in the throne room she was saying I wish I was holding your hand.

Other times they were closer together with people surrounding them. For those situations, Kara would make a seemingly off handed comment about how, “beautiful the nearby stream’s water sounded as it splashed across the rocks on my patrol this morning.”

Gwen never understood why Morgana’s face flushed at the comment, but Morgana knew what Kara meant was I wish you had been beside me when I awoke this morning.

When it became too much to bear, to only speak in code, Morgana would have Gwen hang her green dress out the window to dry. Then she would tell the maid she was going to the library to read.

But instead of heading inside she would head past, heading down to the catacombs beneath the castle, where she would find Kara waiting for her, as eager to see her again as Morgana had been.

Smiling she would run into the woman’s arms and they would hold each other for as long as they wanted without worry of anyone seeing them. And Kara would kiss her deeply like she had been holding her breath the entire time they were apart since Morgana was her oxygen.

In those moments it felt to Morgana like everything was right in the world.

Right with her.

For once she was not alone and in those moments it felt like she never would be again.

____

The catacombs beneath Camelot were cold and wet, but Morgana did not feel any of it as she headed down to meet Kara.

It was even colder that night as winter approached, but she felt warm, heated by the passion of her love as she felt like she was floating, her body lightened by thoughts of seeing the woman of her dreams again.

Her feet came back to earth as ahead she heard voices.

Male voices.

Two of them.

One of the voices she immediately recognized as Uther’s. She’d recognize that arrogant tone anywhere. That self-assured confidence that came from unearned honor.

“If you want us to get rid of that female knight now it’s going to cost you double.”

Morgana’s blood went cold at the icy tone of the other man.

“No. I don’t need her gone anymore.”

A slow derisive laugh. “No? I would think you’d want her gone even more with how close she’s gotten with your precious ward and son.”

She could picture Uther frowning in that moment as the permanent crease between his eyes deepened.

“I’m not worried about her,” replied Uther, “She’ll soon realize she’s not cut out to be a knight of Camelot.”

“And what if she doesn’t? I hear them Kyrptonians were mighty stubborn,” under his breath he added, “And self-righteous.”

“Then I will deal with her then,” replied Uther darkly.

“What if it’s too late? There are others out there who hate her presence as much as you. And they are willing to pay. Who’s to say your precious ward won’t be collateral damage,” he said it off handed like it didn’t matter to him. Either way he got paid.

Uther on the other hand sounded upset, someone might have even made the mistake of thinking he cared about Morgana from the way he growled, “Don’t you touch her.”

The man just laughed, not intimated by the king in the least, “So the rumors are true. She’s your daughter.”

Morgana had moved closer by then, peeking around a stone wall as Uther stumbled back, startled by the words. She felt her own heart react to the words.

It couldn’t be true. The man was mistaken. There was no way Uther was her father. Her father had been the king’s best friend. When he’d passed, Uther had only taken her in because of his friendship with her late father. But he was not—

The man chuckled darkly, “So it is true. And she doesn’t know? You’re just going to let Arthur take the throne when he’s not even your oldest.”

Uther looked pale, like he was sickened by the thought that his secret had been exposed. Taking a breath to regain himself, his chest lifted as he declared, “Arthur is my son,” as if that was reason enough for him.

The words pierced Morgana through as she stumbled back out of sight. Her eyes burned as she hurried away down the hall, unable to bear another moment of the conversation.

Unable to bear any more news about her connection with that murderer. The man she was now disgusted to know was her true father.

But even as she ran she could not get Uther’s face out of her mind. His anger. The lies he had told her each and every day that she lived with him. Everything. Everything she’d believed to be truth was now crumbling down around her. She felt betrayed and more than ever before, she felt lost.

Then she hit a wall.

No.

Not a wall.

Kara.

Just seeing Morgana’s face told the girl that something was wrong. Reaching up she gently wiped away a tear from Morgana’s cheek as she softly asked, “What’s wrong?”

Though her tone was soft her expression was hard, like she was ready to fight whoever had caused Morgana this pain. But retribution wasn’t what she needed right now. Instead she collapsed into the knight’s arms as she started to cry.

____

“Uther is my father.”

Morgana paced back and forth, wearing down the grass beneath her feet as she said the words for the fifth time since she’d learned them.

After she’d stopped crying, Kara had saddled a horse and they’d ridden out to the woods together. Morgana was too upset to even notice how strong Kara’s arms were as they wrapped around her. She was too out of it to notice how close their bodies were, pressed together, rocking in motion with the horse’s long strides.

Instead all she could think was, “Uther is my father. Why didn’t he ever tell me?”

“I’d heard rumors,” stated Kara, “About your mother having an affair. But though there were guesses as to who it might have been Uther’s name never once came up. He was your father’s best friend.”

No. Not her father. The man who had raised Morgana when she was younger was not her real father. Uther was. That hateful man with his blood thirsty nature and temper that could flare up without warning.

She collapsed onto a log as she realized, “He is my father.”

Kara sat beside her, patting her knee as she said, “This doesn’t change anything.”

Morgana stood, “It changes everything. I am his daughter. The eldest child to the Pendragon name. The rightful heir to the throne.”

Kara frowned, “Do you want to be heir to throne?”

She threw up her hands, “I don’t know what I want. But he’s not even going to give me a chance. He said Arthur is the only one he wants on the throne and he has never once tried to tell me the truth. Obviously he never wants me to know who I really am.”

“But you know now. If you wanted you could confront him and--.”

“And what? Give him more reason to kill me.”

Kara’s brow furrowed in worry. “I don’t think he would do that.”

“Why not? If he knew I was a magic user you think the fact that we share blood would stop him from killing me? And then to find out that I know I am the rightful heir to the throne. Do you think he’d actually risk Arthur losing his chance to be king? He has never once chosen me over his son. Not once.” She held up a single finger for emphasis.

Kara’s frown deepened, “I don’t think he’d kill you just for finding out you are his daughter.”

“Why not? He has tried to kill you for less. That man in the catacombs, he spoke as if Uther had hired him before to try and kill you. Maybe even multiple times. I don’t know why he decided not to pay him this time but he’s sure to change his mind. He’s like that. Mercy one moment, death the next. The man is a psychopath with too much power. More power than someone with such murderous tendencies should ever have.”

Again she felt a sting in her heart as she collapsed on to the log, “And I am just like him.”

Kara took her hand, squeezing it to emphasize her words as she said, “You are not. You are a good and kind person and you have chosen to save lives. He may be your father but you are not the same people.”

“Aren’t we? We both lose our tempers. Both burn with an anger filled with murderous intent.”

“I just think of you as passionate,” Kara’s smile was soft, playful, but it did nothing to quell the ache in Morgana’s chest.

“We are both nothing more than villains in the story of Arthur’s life.”

Kara kissed her hand, “That is not true. You are a good person. I know that no matter what struggles you face, or how others treat you, in the end you will always chose the right path. You will always do the right thing.”

Her heart longed to believe those words, but deep down she knew, “I don’t know if I can, Kara. I don’t know if I have it in me.”

“You do. You do have it in you. You are good. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even me. Believe it in your heart and it will be so.”

“Kara,” her eyes dropped to the ground.

An ant was struggling to move a leaf as it made its way across the forest floor. Watching its slow progress reminded her of her own life. How often she struggled. How often she fought to keep her sanity. To keep her anger from taking over. But in the end, she realized, she was just like her father. Nothing more than an animal controlled by her base emotions. Hunger. Sadness. And rage.

And if she was to listen to her heart…the only thing it was telling her was that she was cut from the same cloth as that man.

“Uther believes he’s a good person and look how much damage he’s caused.”

Both of them had a dangerous amount of power—Uther his crown, which allowed him to work out his dark machinations on the world. While she had been granted a gift—a curse called magic that gave her the ability to force her own will upon the world.

“But that’s the difference between you and him. He hurts people and claims it is good, but you help people.”

“I don’t always.”

“And when you don’t you know it’s bad and you feel guilt for it. You want to be better and try to be so. Just keep focusing on that and the trying. Don’t give up on that, Morgana. Eventually you’ll find your way back to the light. Back to me.” She smiled, her eyes sparkling as she pressed Morgana’s hand to her lips, “I’ll never leave your side, Morgana. Not even death can separate us.”

Morgana turned away, unable to look at the hope coming through the female knight’s eyes.

She had been right in her first assessment of the girl—she was a beam of light.

The sun.

Bright.

Life giving.

And Morgana--she was the moon.

Pale.

Sickly.

And jealous of the light that was not her own. Could never be her own. Just a poor reflection of the glowing orb and its light.

“I am sorry, Kara. I cannot be the person you believe me to be.”

Morgana stood, her hand sliding from Kara’s as she stepped away. The other girl did not move to come after her, just watched her sadly as she put a distance between them.

“I get that you are upset, but give yourself time to process these emotions and see if you still feel this way. We all can do bad things when we are hurt or angry.”

Morgana held herself against the cold of the winter air. But it was not really that which chilled her. More the thought of just how much damage she could do when she lost her temper.

“But you don’t have to end up like him. You don’t have to reach the place where you end up destroying those you care about because of your own fear and anger.”

Her voice broke as she turned back to say, “The only person I care about is you. And,” her eyes dropped to the side, guilt tingeing her words with despair, “He tried to hurt you. He did hurt you.”

Her eyes flashed with anger as she realized, “Those bandits that attacked us were probably hired by him.”

She had not noticed Kara move from her position on the log, but now she was beside her again, touching her face as she turned it to look at hers, “When we head out on a quest for revenge we must first dig a grave for our self and one we seek to destroy. That is how the saying goes. But I would go so far as to add that we must also dig a grave for all those we care about because when we seek retribution we hurt them as well.”

Morgana pulled away again, the pain inside her too great for even Kara’s light to penetrate.

“I just want to be alone.”

The space beside her felt empty as Kara shifted back from her, her voice tight with emotion as she begged, “Come find me when you get back. We can talk about this as long as you need to. Just don’t handle this on your own.”

A moment later she heard the fading hoof beats as Kara rode away.

Left alone in the woods she felt as lost as she had when she’d first heard the news.

“You know, she’s right.”

Morgana startled as she turned to see a cloaked figure.

“You shouldn’t have to handle this on your own.”

Morgana stepped back from the figure though there was still a great distance between them. The anger she’d felt at Uther rose up against this stranger as she growled. “Who are you?”

The figure reached up, pushing back her hood to reveal blonde hair and a face twisted with anger, “Oh, dear sister, don’t you recognize me? I am Morgause and I am more than ready to help you get your revenge on Uther and the Pendragon name.”

The darkness inside Morgana stirred at the words. At the thought of finally putting an end to Uther’s reign.

“What do you have in mind?”

____

That night she dreamed of a man with a bald head and a smarmy smile telling her, “Kara is Supergirl.”

Though the word meant nothing to her she felt as if she had been struck by lightning. The words rushed through, causing the same amount of pain she had felt when she’d learned the truth about Uther. The same pain that one felt when they found out someone they had trusted with their life, with their heart, had lied to them.

She was crying as she woke from the dream. Leaning onto her knees she let great sobs rock her body as she cried into her arms.

Why did it have to hurt like this?

Why, when things were finally looking up for her, did everything have to fall apart?

Later, in the morning, she saw Kara in the hall. The girl was talking with a knight, so focused on that she had not yet sensed Morgana’s presence.

Even though it had been a dream, Morgana felt the betrayal as if it was real. As if it were an omen of the future.

When she told her sister about it, she instructed her, “It’s best not to trust this lady knight. If given the choice between you and Camelot, I fear she would choose the kingdom.”

Morgana wanted to argue, but since the dream she could not muster the same amount of trust. Knights were all about loyalty to the crown above all others. Themselves, the people, even their own families. And Morgana was nothing more than another citizen of the crown.

Even with all her flowery speeches about loving Morgana, magic and all, at the end of the day Kara’s oath to the crown would always come first.

If she had the crown would Kara be wholly devoted to her?

With her power it would be so easy to make Kara completely hers. To make everyone hers.

The thought both thrilled and horrified her.

She was her father’s daughter after all.

A monster. 

____

Morgana’s hatred for Uther grew with each passing day. Though she tried to give him chances he failed every one.

Whenever she reached out for him he turned away. Turning from her to his beloved son.

Why had he even bothered taking Morgana in if he was going to treat her this way?

He should have left her to die.

Like Morgause.

If she could she would make herself forget. Make it so she never found out the truth.

Even if she could it felt like she was fated to always find out. Fated to always have her peace disrupted by the truth about her parentage.

She was a child of darkness, after all. Someone who could never hope to find peace in the light.

Even the joy she had once found with Kara was now tainted. Each time they were together all she felt was worry that Uther might once again try to kill her.

The only way she could be sure Kara was safe would be to take the crown for herself.

“Don’t use me as an excuse,” stated Kara one day, seemingly out of the blue, “I don’t need protection. Not if it means you losing your soul.”

When Morgana questioned her strange words, Kara told her, “I know you and your sister are plotting to take the crown, but that isn’t going to solve your problems. Don’t let your sister convince you otherwise.”

Was Kara choosing Uther over her?

Uther.

The very man who turned away at the sight of her.

The very one that had hired a hit man to kill her.

Uther, who even with all Kara had done, still treated her as the worst knight in Camelot.

The more distant she felt from Kara, the closer she got with her sister, the only one who really understood her. The only one who accepted her magic and helped her grow in it. The one only one who hated Uther as much as her.

Though Uther had wronged Kara, the girl still chose to find the good in people. This could be grating at times, especially when it made her side with Morgana’s enemy. Uther Pendragon the mad king.

The king of blood.

Her father.

____

The moon was being swallowed by the darkness as Morgana walked through Camelot’s gates. Behind her an army of undead soldiers followed. Her cloak sashayed around her feet as her hood hung low, concealing her face. Beside her Morgause walked with her hood down. She had no reason to hide her features, no reason to hide the hate that burned within her eyes as she glared at the oncoming soldiers. With a simple wave of her hand she sent them flying to the side with a wind spell.

She was much more powerful than Morgana, had been training longer. But after weeks of training together the time had finally come for them to enact their revenge on Uther. On Camelot the kingdom that had persecuted their people without mercy. Woman, children, families destroyed because of the fear of one man: Uther Pendragon.

Finally his reign of terror was coming to an end. Tonight Morgana would finally claim her rightful place as queen.

As more soldiers and knights poured out to defend the kingdom the undead knights surged forward to meet their attacks. As they fought, Morgana and Morgause continued forward. Swords clashed around them as men let out pained cries while the undead knights remained silent like the grave.

As soon as they entered the castle more knights confronted them. While Morgause knocked back three of them with a wind spell Morgana picked up one of their dropped swords. Moving towards two knights she swung her sword around, meeting their attacks as she blocked then swung her blade around, cutting across the front of one as he fell to the ground while she stabbed at the second. Both collapsed in a heap as she continued forward.

“Morgana.”

There she stood, framed in moonlight, her hair seeming to glow as it floated around her. Morgana felt her breath hitch at the sight, lost for a moment in the beauty of the female knight.

“You don’t need to do this. Please don’t do this.”

Her throat ached like she’d been trying to swallow swords. That would have hurt less than the pain she was feeling now as she realized Kara was standing against her. Standing in defense of Uther.

Instead of backing down she steeled her heart as she snapped back, “Someone needs to put an end to his reign of terror.”

“But not like this,” Kara motioned to the knights lying dead on the ground, “They are your people too, Morgana.”

Her jaw flexed with emotion, “They have never been on my side, Kara.”

“But what about the people of Camelot? They are just as scared as you. They have also faced persecution.”

“And if they had a chance they’d burn me at the stake and not lose a moments sleep over it,” snapped Morgana. “This is the only way I can be free. The only way we can be free,” she felt her throat choke on the words as her eyes stung for a moment, “Don’t get in my way, Kara. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to hurt anyone or do anything more you will regret. Stop this before it’s too late.”

Morgana lifted her chin, signaling to Kara she had already made her decision and she was not changing it.

The female knight’s jaw flexed as her fingers tightened around her sword’s hilt.

“I’m sorry, Morgana, I can’t let you do this.”

Morgana’s heart throbbed in her chest. Of course Kara would choose Camelot over her. Everyone always chose something else over her.

As Kara charged Morgana lifted her hand, a wave of force shooting out from her palm, sending the knight flying back head over heels before slamming into a wall. She let out a loud grunt before sliding down to the ground where she remained still.

Morgana lowered her hand, feeling a hollowness in her chest.

Morgause stepped to her side, taking a hold of her hand as she squeezed it, “You ready.”

She nodded, her throat too choked with emotion to speak.

Even as the magic continued to grow in her, making her stronger as the darkness continued to move across the moon, she felt weak in the knowledge that she was going to have to do this without Kara.

Why was she always alone?

____

Morgana held the blade to Uther’s throat. Even with the tip of the sword pointed at him he did not lose his haughty expression, his eyes flashing at her like he was challenging her to “do it.”

“You brought this on yourself,” stated Morgana her words as cold as ice.

“I don’t know why you are doing this,” grunted Uther as two of the death knights held him down.

The throne room was dark, the women’s entrance into the room having caused all the torches to be blown out. Now only the little remaining light from the moon allowed them to see each other.

“Oh, don’t you? Father.”

His eyes widened, fear replacing pride as he realized his lie had been uncovered.

“Oh yes, I know the truth, Uther. I know that you betrayed your best friend, that you let him think that I was his daughter. Then, after he was gone, guilt led you to raise me, but not as your daughter. No, your pride wouldn’t allow you to admit your fault. And now you are paying for all your sins.”

She pressed the point of the blade in closer, drawing a pinprick of blood from his throat.

“Morgana, please--.”

“Don’t try to bargain with me now, Uther. You had your chance. But you would never listen to me. Your fear and pride is the reason you are here now. You only have yourself to blame.”

“Morgana,” she turned to find Arthur standing in the doorway. His chest was heaving with effort, his blade covered in dust from having defeated several undead knights.

“Ah, if it isn’t my brother. Come to save our precious father, Arthur?”

The prince looked to hesitate for a moment, confusion showing in his eyes as he looked at his father. Uther averted his gaze, shame showing in his eyes before he could fully look away.

Arthur looked like a gasping fish as his eyes came back to Morgana.

“Yes, it’s true. Your father, our father has lied to us all these years. I am your half-sister, Arthur. Your older sister and the rightful heir to Camelot. So why don’t you be a good boy and let this happen. After all, isn’t that what you always do? Let everyone else make the decision for you.

“And isn’t it a good decision for you? If I take the crown you can be with Gwen. You can live a happy, normal life with her without having to worry about kingly duties. We both know you don’t really want the crown. You only want it because it’s what Uther wants.”

Arthur’s jaw flexed as he looked to consider her words for a moment. Then his eyes came back to her, flashing with confidence as he declared, “No. I won’t let someone like you take the throne.”

Anger rose in her chest as she felt her hair float around her, “Someone like me?” There was a rumble to her words like the time she had confronted them about Kara’s life.

Kara.

“What gives you the right to judge me, Arthur Pendragon? You who have never once made a decision for himself that was not handed to him by his father or manservant. You are not fit to rule. I will not let someone like YOU be king.”

With that she ran at him, her sword flashing in the remaining moonlight as their blades met. Though Arthur was a skilled fighter she had always been better than him. Always been ready and willing to do anything to win.

Arthur was still a boy compared to her. Unable to make the big decisions. She, however, knew exactly what needed to be done.

He let out a pained grunt as she sliced into his side. Unlike the knights, he had not been dressed for combat, as the blade cut deep into his flesh. She watched as his shirt was instantly stained with blood.

“No!”

As if from the force of the words, Morgana felt herself fly back as she tumbled through the air before hitting a back wall. Looking up she found an old man in flowing robes standing in the doorway. His eyes were fixed on Arthur as he watched the young man grip his bleeding side.

While the man looked concerned at the prince’s wellbeing, Morgause came over to help her sister up.

“Morgana,” though she was sure she’d never met the man before he croaked out her name like they had some kind of history. And yet, somehow he seemed familiar. Lifting his hands the man ordered them to, “Leave!”

As soon as Morgana was up, Morgause stepped in front of her protectively as she lifted her own hands, “You leave. You are no match for us.”

Reaching back for Morgana, the girl took her sister’s hand as she stepped to her side. Together they started to chant as a field of wind picked up around them, shielding them from a slew of arrows that came at them as a group of knights rushed into the room. Regular means were no match for them now, not with the power they were getting from the moon. The wind started to lift them up as their eyes glowed with the increased power.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” the old man’s gaze was fixed on Morgana.

She felt her focus waver as the old man’s words reminded her of Kara’s just moments ago.

Had she woken up yet?

Would she continue to fight them?

“Focus,” stated her sister as Morgana started to lower back to the ground.

Other than the quick reminder, Morgause was fully invested in the spell as she chanted the words that would grant them victory. But they weren’t the only ones energized by the moonlight.

A bolt of lightning came from the old man, hitting Morgause as her body shivered before collapsing to the ground.

Morgana heard herself scream as she looked back at the old man, her eyes flashing with anger.

“You!”

“Step away from her,” ordered the man, “I need to end this.”

Uther was at Arthur’s side now, helping his son up as the guards surrounded the pair. In a single moment the victory that had been theirs was quickly falling apart. All because of this old man.

Morgana screamed again, sending the old man flying back. Under her hand she felt her sister’s life fading

“Morgana,” her sister gripped her hand, her hold weak as her breath wheezed in her chest. She was losing her. Just as she lost everything, “Remember, you are more powerful than they know. You can do this. You can have your revenge. Our revenge.”

She felt a surge of magic rush into her as her eyes glowed again as anger lifted her to her feet. Her eyes fixed on the old man.

“I don’t know who you are, but I am going to end you, old man.”

Fire ignited in her palm as she lifted her hand. A stream of flames issued from her palm, hitting the old man as he was pressed back against the wall. Though the fire licked at him, he seemed unaffected as the stones around him smoked.

Though she felt strong, the old man seemed to have a better grasp of his own magic. Though she realized she still had a ways to go she was not about to give up now.

“Morgana,” the old man pushed back against the flames, moving away from the wall as he grunted, “don’t make me do this.”

She let out a derisive snort, “I can’t make you do anything, old man. But I will help you die!”

Before she could lift her other hand to increase the power of the flames the old man lifted his hand, sending a bolt of lightning at her. As it flashed through the air she realized she did not have time to move or change tactics.

Morgause was a powerful magic user and she was barely hanging on after being hit. Morgana had no hope of surviving.

Before she was hit she felt something else crash into her side, knocking her to the ground as lightning flashed above her.

On the ground she felt something heavy land on top of her. In the darkness of the room she could not see what it was. As she started to shift the thing off her she noticed her sister lying across from her. Though dark she could just make out her lips moving in a chant.

“Where did she go?” asked Arthur as him and his father shifted with the knights towards the door.

More soldiers surged into the room as they started to look around the room, looking as if they were searching for the woman who was lying out in the open at the base of the throne.

How were they not seeing her?

Her eyes went back to Morgause whose lips were still moving—moving with a spell! An invisibly spell.

“Find her,” ordered Uther as most of the knights rushed from the room. The king’s focus shifted from them to the old man as he inquired, “Who are--,” his words cut off as he realized the old man had also disappeared.

Their soldiers might have been gone, but Morgana would not let tonight be a complete waste. Fire crackled in her palm as she aimed an attack at Uther. Before she could let it go a hand touched hers. Morgause. She slowly shook her head, signaling to Morgana that now was not the time.

Though it angered her to give up, her sister was right. Best to retreat now and wait for another opportunity to strike.

As soon as the room was empty Morgause’ lips stopped moving as her eyes closed. She was still breathing but it was faint, labored. It was obvious she would not last the night.

With no one left to stop her, Morgana pushed the object off her, grunting as she only got half of it off so that she had to slide the rest of the way out from under it.

She needed to get out of there. Make her escape with Morgause so they could regroup.

Before she could do anything a voice weakly called to her, “Morgana.”

Her body tensed before she turned back, her eyes finally taking in the object that had landed on her.

Just as she started to make it out through the darkness she felt a sharp pain at the back of her skull then everything went black as she fell to the ground.

_____

“For crimes against Camelot and the king, Morgana La Fey, you are sentenced to death by burning at the stake.”

She snorted. Even in her final hours Uther was unable to admit her parentage.

“Do you have any final words to say for yourself?” the question came from Uther as he stood above her on the balcony overlooking the square.

In the center of the square, Morgana had had been tied to stake that was surrounded by stacks of wood.

Though anger still burned within her chest, her head swam with the concoction Gaius had given her. It made it hard for her to concentrate on the spells Morgause had taught her.

Good old Gaius, always suppressing her true power.

Her destiny.

But after how the night before had gone she wondered if this, death, wasn’t her fated end.

Even if she hadn’t been drugged, without the eclipsed moon she did not have the power she needed to enact her revenge. Morgana was nowhere near as powerful as her sister without the extra aid.

Above the king was unmoved, looking as if he was sentencing another innocent peasant to the flames. Beside him, Arthur’s jaw flexed tight with emotion as his eyes glistened in the sunlight.

Morgana dropped her head, her shoulders beginning to shake as a low dark chuckle could be heard from her, growing in volume and bitterness with each exhale.

“Save your tears, Arthur. We both know your anguish is only for yourself, so you can feel better about the part you played in putting me here.”

He had been the one to knock her over the head, having come back to check to make sure she hadn’t returned. But that night wasn’t the only time he’d betrayed her, “Not just then, but every time you helped your father in pushing me down and making me less. Neither of you ever treated me like family. Like a friend. You all just used me,” she fixed everyone with a hard glare. Arthur, Merlin, Gaius, Gwen. “I may be hanging here on this stake today, but you put me here a long time ago with your actions. Don’t act like any of you ever cared about me. Like any of you ever really loved me.”

Love.

Her voice choked on the word.

On the thought.

Kara.

Kara had been the only person who had ever cared for her.

Her eyes searched the crowd as if she would see the woman there. But she knew she would never see her again. She was--.

“Morgana,” Uther’s scolding tone brought her focus back to him. “Do not act like we are the ones at fault here. You are the one that attacked Camelot. Your home.”

A loud bitter laugh issued from her throat, “My home?! This place has never been my home. The only reason I am here now is because you fear me. Just as you fear everything you don’t understand.”

Her emotions seemed to be affecting the mixture Gaius had given her as she thought she saw the vision of a dragon flash across Uther’s face. Beside him, Arthur looked like a marionette on a string.

She let out a bitter laugh at the vision, “That fear will be the end of you, Uther Pendragon. And the end of you as well, Arthur. Magic will never die, but you both will.”

Uther’s jaw flexed with anger as she again saw the dragon’s face over his. A bitter creature filled with as much fear as its human counterpart. The human turned his eyes from Morgana, from his daughter, looking to the executioner as he ordered him to, “Do it.”

There was not an ounce of remorse in his tone as he callously watched the man with the torch step to the logs. Bending down the man let the flames from the torch lick at the logs. Whatever Gaius had given her was now making the flames appear as small people made of fire. They danced from the torch onto the logs where they paired up, performing a dance as they swirled and twirled quickly across the wood.

As the crowd around her cheered at the growing flames behind them she heard shouting. There was the sharp cry of a horse as hoof beats thundered through the square. She could almost make out the words “Stop them!” as the crowd around her cried out, parting as a large white horse rode into the clearing in front of the stake.

The horse stopped just before the pyre, lifting its font legs in the air before setting them down again. There on its back glowing like the sun itself with wings like the dawn was—“Kara.”

Morgan felt a smile on her lips; felt the joy swell in her heart as the female knight smiled back at her.

“As promised, I’m come to save you.”

Kara’s blade was made of sunlight as she used it to fight off a guard, easily knocking the man away before slashing at the ropes holding Morgana.

Once she was free, Kara reached out, taking Morgana’s hands as she pulled her to the back of the horse. As Morgana wrapped her arms around the other girl’s waist, Kara pressed the horse forward away from the pyre. Away from Uther as he cried out for the guards to stop them. Away from Arthur who looked torn between expressing panic or joy.

Away from everything and everyone who had ever hurt her. Betrayed her.

The only thing she needed was right there with her.

Wrapping her arms tighter around Kara’s waist she breathed deep, as they rode off into the sun’s fading light. Off to live their own happy ending as the world around them was plunged into darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana grows in power

“Morgana,” the woman turned as a man walked into the room.

Agravaine de Bois.

It had been him who had ridden the horse into Camelot to save her from being burned alive.

Not Kara.

That had just been a hallucination brought on by the psychotropic drugs Gaius had given her.

Her throat ached as she realized Kara would no longer be coming to her rescue. Not after the night of the eclipse. Not after she had--.

Like that night all she saw was darkness. All she felt was the cold embrace of the shadows as she remembered the events of that night. Her attack against Kara. The fight with the mysterious old man. The bolt of lightning intended to end her life taking another’s.

“Morgana we need to discuss our next plan of action,” stated Agravaine.

Even in her final moments Kara had put Morgana’s wellbeing above her own.

“Morgana,” Agravaine’s sharp tone brought her back to the present.

Like her sister, the man had a grudge against Camelot and its king. Revenge had made her a new friend, but vengeance was not at the forefront of her mind right now.

“I need a druid. Someone who can teach me more magic.”

The man nodded, “I will get you the most powerful druid I can find.”

____

For months she trained, for months she learned. For months she grew in power and knowledge of the magic arts.

“Whoever that wizard was had to be very powerful to take your sister down like that,” stated Agravaine. “If we are going to defeat Uther we are going to need to find this wizard and take him out.”

Morgana just nodded, not really listening as she concentrated on her spell work. If she was going to succeed she needed to focus.

Succeeding in this spell was the most important thing to her. More important than some old wizard. Than taking Camelot. More important even than making Uther pay.

When Agravaine bothered her, pressing for how long it would take before they could start their revenge, she dismissed him.

Eventually he felt he had waited long enough, as he exasperatedly inquired, “What is more important than having our revenge?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” her tone was cold as she faced him, her eyes looking past him, through him to the only thing that mattered, “I’m bringing back the Sun.”

____

Morgana had everything in place.

The body of her beloved, retrieved from her grave, was lane out lovingly atop the cold stone slab. The various magic items had been placed around her, the magic ointments rubbed into her skin. Everything was in place on the day Morgana had waited for. The perfect day when the stars were aligned in a way that would give her the power she needed to complete this spell.

As the druids around the slab started to chant, Agravaine stepped to her side as he inquired, “Is this really necessary?” he reminded her of his patience up till then, “I thought you were gaining power so we could take down Uther. Not so you could bring back some knight.”

He said it flippantly, making Morgana’s temper flare as she snapped, “She’s not just “some knight” she is MY knight. And I will not continue in our endeavors until I have her back.”

“And what if it doesn’t work? What if you can’t bring her back?”

Morgana let out a fluttering chuckle, “It will work. It has to work. I need her back.”

She felt her voice break with desperation as she looked back at Kara’s still form. Whoever had entombed her had done a good job. To those not in the know she looked like she was sleeping. A sleep that had paled her skin and caused her to lose the luster to her hair. But once Morgana was finished she would be back to her old self. Then they would never part again.

She could almost hear Kara’s voice reminding her, “No one ever really leaves you. Even when they are physically gone from you, the love you have for them still exists in your heart.”

But Morgana wanted more than just a memory to hold onto. She wanted the woman herself.

As the druids continued to chant she joined in as she felt magic rise out of her, lifting into the air as it joined the ether floating above the slab.

Focusing completely on the spell, she did not let herself consider what she would do if this did not work. She had barely managed to go on during her months of training without Kara by her side.

She had known loneliness before, but after knowing what it felt like to be loved, she could not imagine going back to her life before Kara.

As the magic of the spell came together a light filled the room, making her turn away as she was blinded for a moment. When the light dissipated her eyes immediately went to the slab. Kara lay as before. Nothing seemed to have changed. Her skin was still as pale as before. Her hair still dull.

Morgana held her breath, waiting, praying that something would happen.

She waited.

Waited.

Waited.

A scream came from her throat filled with the pain she felt as she realized it had not worked.

‘Why didn’t it work?”

A druid started to answer about how the stars may have not been in the exact place they needed—she sent him flying back with a lightning bolt to the chest. He slumped to the ground with a great smoking hole in his chest.

Another gut wrenching scream as she realized everything she had wanted had been lost in one moment of time. Lost in a way she could never get back no matter how hard she fought. No matter how strong she became.

She screamed again, facing the slab as she roared, “GET UP!”

The candles in the room all went out at the force of her words.

Then the woman sat up.

“Kara,” all her anger dissipated as she rushed to the woman’s side, gripping her hand to her chest. Her skin was cold, her eyes hollow as she turned to look at her. “Kara?”

The woman did not reply, just stared at her blankly.

Morgana turned on the druid closest to her, “What happened? Why isn’t she responding?”

The druid looked terrified as he glanced over at his fallen comrade, “I do not know, Milady. I--.”

Another blast of energy sent him flying back as he landed beside the previous druid, his own hole smoking in his chest.

Morgana turned back to Kara, pleading as she gripped her hand tighter, “Kara, please, say something. Speak to me.”

Another blank look then slowly her lips parted as she breathed the words, “Morgana.”

“Kara,” hope rose in her chest as she felt everything fall back into place, “Kara.”

The woman’s lips closed again as her eyes remained impassive.

“Kara,” her heart shook with panic as everything she had imaged in the moment of Kara’s rising shattered around her. “Kara, talk to me.”

Again the woman’s lips parted as she inquired, “What would you have me do?”

The head druid smiled as he stepped closer. He did not cower as much as the other two had as he said, “The spell was a success, milady. See, she is asking for orders.”

“What good does that do me?”

The man looked confused as he glanced at the other druids before asking, “Did you not wish to raise a shade?”

“NO!” the words came out like a roar, pushing the man back with the force of her words. “I wanted to bring her back.”

Her voice broke as she held Kara closer, her body rigid against hers. There was no mistaking this woman for someone living.

The druid looked concerned as he admitted, “We didn’t know you wanted to bring her back to life. There is no spell powerful enough to end death. We are only able to bring back a husk of your friend. Pulling back her soul to her body with all her skills and memories, but its essence is no more than a mere shadow of her mortal self. But,” he sounded hopeful that this would make her happy as he said, “you can control her. Mold her to your will.”

Morgana felt herself choke on a sob as she cried into the woman’s shoulder. But she did not respond, remaining as impassive as a tree.

Agravaine stepped to her side as she felt her whole world crumble again, “We can use this to our advantage, Morgana. Kara was seen as dying a loyal knight to the crown. If you send her back you can use her to kill Arthur.”

Morgana’s eyes flashed as she turned on him, “This is not what I wanted. This is not how I wanted her to come back to me.”

Agravaine’s expression was gentle as he touched her shoulders, “I know. But we can use this to our advantage. This is still a powerful magic we can use to help our cause.”

Before he could say more Kara reached out, gripping his hand tightly as she pulled it off Morgana’s shoulder. Though she seemed to be acting on instinct, Morgana felt no joy as she ordered the woman, “Let him go.”

She did.

Agravaine shook out his hand as he reminded her, “This is the perfect time to use this. Arthur has proposed to Gwen and--.”

“I don’t care what Arthur is doing.”

Agravaine took her shoulders again, moving her away from Kara as he reminded her, “This is the whole reason we brought Kara back, to help us in our cause. To help you get the crown.”

Morgana’s throat felt tight. That hadn’t been the reason she’d done it. But now it might as well be. Revenge was the only thing she had left now.

“Do you really want Gwen sitting on your throne?” inquired Agravaine with a tone like it was a bad thing.

Gwen had once been her friend. Someone she had cared about as much as she’d cared for Kara. But Agravaine was right; having her on the throne was not something Morgana wanted. Not after how Gwen had treated her.

The night of the eclipse, Gwen had visited Morgana in her prison cell.

At first she’d been happy to see her friend as they held each other’s hands through the bars. But then Gwen had expressed her confusion at the reason behind Morgana’s attack.

She had pulled away as she replied, “I don’t see why you find it so confusing. You know firsthand how Uther has treated me. How he’s treated all magic users and suspected magic users. Your father. I am just putting an end to his reign of terror. I would think you would be happy.”

“But you attacked us, Morgana. Struck down our friends--.”

“None of those knights were my friend.”

“What about Kara?”

Morgana’s heart still ached at the memory. She lost so much that night. Not just her sister but also the woman she’d loved.

But Gwen reminded her, ‘Kara gave her life protecting Camelot from your sister’s attack.”

She frowned as she recalled the words.

In the end everyone chose something else over her.

Even Kara.

“Fine,” Morgana turned her eyes from Kara back to Agravaine, “We will use her to take down Arthur.”

____

With the order given, Kara headed back to Camelot. By then she seemed like her old self, smiling, laughing, but while she fooled everyone at Camelot Morgana knew this was not her Kara. The light shining from her was only surface level. She was still nothing more than a shadow of her former self.

A shade.

Eventually Kara had her chance to kill Arthur. Another tournament of swords where Arthur in his arrogance felt the need to show off his skills.

As before, Kara made it to the final round to compete against him. But just when she had her change to make the finishing blow she stopped. Instead of dealing a death blow to Arthur she stabbed herself through, ending her second life.

When Morgana got the news she let out a scream so powerful she broke the wall nearest her. Those around her were sent flying back, the messenger getting the worst of it as he was sent through the wall. His scream carryied up to them as he found himself falling down the cliff on the other side of the wall.

As other’s ran to watch his fall, Morgana left the room.

Kara was gone.

Fully gone.

Never to return.

“Magic always comes with a price.”

The words reminded her of Kara’s warning about revenge also exacting a cost from those around you. But now that Kara was gone she had no one else to lose.

In truth she never had.

Kara was just like all the others.

Her best friend who wasn’t actually her friend.

Her love that didn’t actually love her.

Each and every one of them belonging to someone else.

Gwen to Arthur.

Kara to Camelot.

And Morgana to the darkness.

___

“Why are you doing this, Morgana. I thought we were friends.”

Morgana sneered at Gwen as she held her hand up, gripping the air in front of her like it was the future queen’s throat, “If you had actually been my friends it wouldn’t have been so easy for you to turn your backs on me. To paint me as the monster and justify your actions against me.”

With that she sent the woman flying backwards. Behind her she heard Arthur’s steps as he ran towards her, sword drawn. Turning she sent another force attack at him as he went flying.

“Morgana!” a great booming voice drew her attention to an old man.

The old man from that night.

“YOU!”

Before she could react he sent her flying back as she felt her body hit a tree, her vision going black as she was knocked unconscious.

In the darkness she saw a pinprick of light. A soft smile and a warm laugh as she felt a set of fingers run through her messy curls. A warm breath on her neck as a voice whispered, “You know, this style really does it for me.”

She felt a smile curl the edges of her lips as she purred, "Oh, really?”

“Yeah. All wild and free, like your magic.”

In front of her Kara smiled as she reached up to brush back a lose curl hanging on Morgana’s forehead.

“You know, you could stay here with me,” Morgana took in a deep breath, savoring the woman’s scent as they rested their foreheads against one another.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Arthur is still king.”

Kara’s eyes scrunched with emotion, “Morgana,” she said the name liked it pained her to say it, “You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to pursue this revenge.”

“I have to make them pay, Kara. I can’t let them live happily ever after. Not when they took everything from me. Not when they took you.”

She felt Kara’s hands grip her shoulders tightly as she pulled back to look Morgana full in the face, “Not everything they took from you was worth having. And they did not take me from you. You did.”

Her throat ached as she recalled Kara’s words about the price of revenge. The ache turned to fire as she pulled back from Kara, screaming as the air around them vibrated, but Kara continued to stand. Deep down she knew the woman’s words were true, but admitting that hurt too much. So she screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed.

Then she woke up.

Agravaine looked worried as he removed a wet cloth from her forehead.

“I was afraid you were not going to come back to me.”

Her frown was hard as she sat up, “Of course I did. I have too much to do before I die.” With a flourish of her robes she stalked out of the room.

Kara had chosen her fate and so had Morgana. Though it pained her to think they had gone down different paths there was no turning back now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana has another vision of Kara.

Morgana had another fight with Arthur that ended with the old man coming to his aid.

Who was this man and why did he always know when Arthur was in trouble.

She ended knocked out again as she had another vision of Kara.

She was smiling softly, wearing a white dress as she stood in a field of flowers. A soft light glowed around her as she reached out to Morgana, a look in her eyes like she wanted her to take her hand. To join her. Before she could she felt something pull her back.

Her eyes opened as she saw sky and the tops of trees. She was lying on her back in the woods, the dim light of the moon shining above her. No, not the moon, the glowing eyes of a white dragon.

Instead of panic she felt at peace as she watched the dragon move back from her. Somehow she knew it had brought her back. Stronger than that feeling was a sureness that this dragon was there as a manifestation of Kara’s love for her. Sent from beyond the grave as a means of protecting her.

Reaching out, she touched the creature’s nose. Its skin was hot against her hand.

“I shall call you Aithusa, light of the sun.”

She smiled softly as the dragon purred into her hand, the vibrations of its joy coursing through her hand and up her arm.

Then the dragon flew away. Leaving her alone just as Kara had.

The joy she had felt faded into a dull ache.

As if the memory wasn’t enough, now she had a physical reminder of the love she had lost.

Of the wound that had never healed now appearing as a dragon.

But at least now, in some small way, she had Kara there with her as she continued in her quest for revenge.

She had already lost so much already, there was no going back now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The memory of Kara tries to persuade Morgana to turn from her path of revenge

Morgana looked into the room where Gwen was being held. Where she was being brainwashed by Morgana’s spell.

“You shouldn’t be doing this to Gwen. She was your friend.”

Morgana frowned, not turning to face the speaker as she reminded them, “Yes, she was. But she chose him over me. It was always him. Everyone always chose him. Uther chose him over me. Merlin chose him. Even Gwen chose him over me. Even…even you chose him.”

She turned to face Kara.

But not Kara.

Just a figment of her deteriorating psyche.

Kara shook her head, looking pained by Morgana’s words as she told her, “You know that’s not true. I chose you. It wasn’t about Arthur. It was about you heading down a path that was wrong for you. It was always only about you.”

“If it was for me you wouldn’t have fought that night. Just admit you didn’t want to help me take down Uther and win the throne.”

“Because that wasn’t the way to do things, Morgana. Attacking Camelot wasn’t the way for you to get what you wanted. It wasn’t even what you wanted. It was what your sister wanted.”

“I did want it.”

“No you didn’t. You just wanted to be accepted for who you were. You wanted to be loved. To be cared for. Your sister took advantage of that. She took her own spite and hate for Uther and put it on you. She made you feel like it was your own but it wasn’t. If it was, why do you still feel so incomplete with Uther dead?”

Morgana turned away, a dull ache forming in her chest. The hollowness that had grown with each passing day since she’d lost Kara. Since she’d lost her sister. Since she’d killed Uther. The hollowness growing with each passing day, with each victory, with each loss.

Nothing ever seemed to fill the hole; instead the walls seemed to only crumble away making the chasm larger.

“If I had listened to you,” her voice broke as she considered how different things might have been. But that was too painful to consider, “If I had I might not be so miserable now. So alone.”

Morgause was gone.

Agravaine was gone.

All she had left now was her hate.

Kara’s hand squeezed hers as she reminded her, “You’re not alone, Morgana. You still have me.”

She pulled away, her tone cold as she reminded her, “I don’t. You’re dead.”

Kara smiled softly, “What did I tell you? Even when we’re not physically together, we’re never apart. Death cannot really separate us.”

She moved back further, “But it has. You are gone and I am not the girl you fell in love with anymore. I can’t go back to being her.”

Kara stepped closer, “But you can. You can choose to go back. Just as you’ve chosen to do all these things you can choose to do something different.”

“But they won’t let me choose, Kara,” her voice broke as she looked back at Gwen. She was dazed, out of it like Morgana had been that day on the pyre, “They won’t let me live. They want to destroy me. Destroy me and everything I stand for.

Her eyes flashed as she turned them back to Kara, “You don’t think I’ve tried to change. That I haven’t given them chances to accept me and take me back. But they’ve already labeled me as the bad guy in their minds. And there’s no going back to them. And,” her voice broke, “there’s no going back to you.”

Kara reached out, touching her cheek. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of her fingers as they lightly caressed her skin, “That’s not true. You are a good person, Morgana. Sure you’ve made some bad, some terrible decisions. You’ve let yourself give into your sadness add anger, but deep down I know you’ve regretted every single thing you’ve done.

“I know you think that with all you’ve done there was no turning back, that you can’t change, but you can. You can make different decisions.”

She turned her face, kissing the palm of Kara’s hand as she breathed in her scent. The smell of light and grass.

“Please. Make a different decision. Let Gwen go. Stop this. Just give up trying to take the crown. Give up trying to destroy Arthur. Forget all of them and live your own life. You can choose to find something else to pursue. Something else to make up for the lives you took. But please, Morgana, choose now, choose a different path.”

Her skin felt cold as Kara removed her hand to use them to take a hold of Morgana’s shoulders, “It’s not too late. Do the right thing. I know that the girl I saved all those years ago is still in there.”

Her heart ached at the hope in Kara’s eyes. Then a memory pierced her, words spoken by Arthur, “What happened to you, Morgana. As a child, you were so kind, so compassionate. What happened to that girl?”

Her eyes flashed as she turned, looking back at Gwen, her resolve firm as she told Kara the same thing she had told the king, “I grew up.”

What did she have to fight for?

What did she have to gain now that Kara was gone?

If this destroyed her what did it matter?

She had nothing left to lose.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this battle accomplishes with the final showdown between Merlin and Morgana what the show was unable to.

Arthur was alone.

Dying.

The sounds of battle were far off as the king drew his final breaths. As his breath shook he clutched at the wound Mordred had given him. At wound inflicted by the blade forged with dragon’s breath. The very weapon Morgana had made to bring about Arthur’s end.

But now that she saw his end approaching she felt only a hollowness inside.

After all these years of wanting to win, now that he was sitting here dying, she felt the same emptiness she had with Uther.

Why couldn’t she ever be happy?

Why, when she got the things she wanted, were they never the thing she needed?

Why did she keep making the wrong decision?

“Morgana.”

She turned.

Merlin.

A heat rose in her chest as she felt the hatred shift from Arthur to him. The young man she had once called friend. The one she had once mistaken for an ally. Really he was just another enemy in disguise.

“Emrys,” she exhaled the words like a curse.

It was him.

It had always been him.

From the very beginning he had been the one to ruin everything. Since the first day he had come to Camelot everything had gone downhill for her.

He had been the one to perpetuate Uther’s fears of magic with his secrets. He was the one that had taken Arthur’s attention from her. Gwen’s affection.

And when she had needed Merlin the most, when she had needed someone to tell her it was okay, that she wasn’t alone—when she needed someone to lean on, when she was searching for hope because of her magic, he had done nothing.

Instead of reaching out he had turned away. Had made her feel like she was a monster.

Clouds gathered above as her fists clenched at her sides.

Even though he was right there, a fellow magic user with his own secrets and fears, he had treated her like she was the one to be feared.

Just like Arthur.

Just like Gwen.

Just like Uther.

Thunder rumbled above as lightning flashed through the clouds.

“Emrys!” flames ignited in her palms as she shot fire at him.

He lifted his hands, creating a wall of wind that blew the attack back at her.

Just like that night.

She walked right through the flames, unfazed as her clothes only smoked, leaving her completely unharmed.

“You brought this on yourself,” growled Morgana, “All of this is on you,” she motioned back to Arthur.

“I do blame myself for what happened to you,” stated Merlin, “But ultimely you made the final decision, Morgana. You chose to go down this path, to take it as far as you did. Why? Why did you have to hurt Arthur? He was a good man. He could have brought about so much good in the world.”

Rage issued from her lips in the form of a scream, “AND I COULDN’T? From the very beginning all of you painted me out to be the bad guy.”

Lightning came down, hitting Merlin. When the smoke cleared he was still standing, having directed the hit through his body out into a nearby tree that split down the middle as its branches burned.

“I didn’t want to be the villain. All I wanted was for someone to accept me. To tell me that it was okay. That I was okay. That I wasn’t alone.”

This time lightning shot from her hands as she sent him flying back into the split tree. He grunted but recovered quickly as he made vines grow up from the ground, They wrapped around her, binding her arms to her side.

“I know, Morgana, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. But you chose to kill all those people. To turn against us.”

At his words she let out a scream that blasted the vines away, freeing her as thunder rumbled again, accentuating her words, “YOU NEVER ONCE CHOSE ME!”

Merlin looked pained. She would help him feel it too, as she made the air around them solidify into spears of wind. As she shot them at him, Merlin dodged most as one ended up pierced through his shoulder.

Pulling it free, he insisted, “We did. We fought so hard to bring you back.”

A dark chuckle as she made more lightning crash around the wizard. He was still standing when the dust settled.

“Did you, Merlin? Did you really? Or did you only fight long enough to satisfy your conscience? Long enough so you could tell yourself I was just a lost cause. You’d done everything you could.”

Morgana lifted her arms, making the lighting strike around her this time. When it was done she lowered her arms as bolts of glass shot up out of the ground. Spinning her hands she turned the spikes around as she sent them flying at Merlin.

He put up another wind wall that sent most of the shards flying to the side where they shattered. One got through hitting him in the leg.

“Did you ever once think you were the one at fault in who I became?”

Merlin started to respond but she sent another bolt of electricity at him, sending him spinning as he landed twenty feet back from where he’d been before.

‘You apologize now, but did you ever apologize before? Apologize for pushing me into the shadows with your own hands.”

Dark shapes gathered around her, solidifying into soldiers of the night. She sent them at Merlin who made a sword of light appear in his hands as he struck at the beings. One shadow creature exploded as the light sword hit it. Another disintegrated as Merlin shot it through with a bolt of lightning.

“You were the ones that cast me out. Did you, or Arthur, ever once think “Poor, Morgana. What have we done to her? What have we made her?”

She shook her head as she slowly stalked closer to the wizard as he continued to fight off her shadow warriors, “No. It was easier for you to make me the villain than to try to fix your own mistakes and admit your guilt. I may have chosen my actions, but you were the one that chose to make me your monster.”

She lifted her hand as shadow tentacles gathered around her. She pointed at Merlin as the tentacles flew at him, wrapping his legs and arms as they pulled him back against a tree, pinning him there as vines wrapped around him. The wood of the tree splintered as the vines tightened making the wizard let out a strained groan.

“How else could you play hero, Merlin, if you didn’t have someone to fight.”

She let out another scream that surged out from her, shattering the trees around her. Merlin’s hands were still held so that he could not guard his face as shrapnel flew at him.

Her voice boomed as the ground cracked beneath her feet as she moved closer to him, “And then you took the only person from me who wanted me in spite of my magic.”

Her words looked to confuse him as blood dripped down into his eyes from the cut on his forehead. She gave him a moment to think it over before his eyes finally widened as he realized what she was saying.

“Yes, Merlin. The night of the full moon, all those years ago, when you showed up as Emrys to save your precious Arthur,” she spat out the name, “the attack you intended for me hit Kara. You were the one that killed her. Not my sister, as Uther told the people. You. And I’ve never forgiven you for that.”

Another scream as she sent lightning coursing through his body. His whole form shook then—exploded.

She was stunned at the sight, disbelieving for a moment that she’d finally done it. Finally defeated her greatest enemy.

Then she heard a branch snap behind her. Turning she found Merlin standing behind her. It had only been a double, she realized, as he sent her flying with a wind attack. She tumbled through the air before slamming into a tree.

Recovering quickly, she sent him back with her own wind attack as he slammed into a large rock. As the wind continued to press him to the stone she clenched her hand around an invisible rock as the stone started to grow out and around the wizard, completely incasing him in rock.

She covered him completely, leaving his ears exposed so he could hear as she told him, “You took the only thing that ever mattered to me. The only one who ever mattered to me. And now I have done the same to you Merlin. Your precious Arthur, the one you hoped would bring about a golden age for magic.”

She shook her head as she let out a derisive snort, “If that were actually the case he would have been the one to accept me. To embrace me. HIS OWN SISTER!!”

Another rumble of thunder, “You’ve lived in a dream world since the first moment you stepped into Camelot, Merlin. You’ve never really been able to face reality with who people are. Who Arthur was. Who I was. Or even who you are. A hopeless dreamer,’ her tone darkened, “But then, maybe I was the only one you ever saw for who they actually were. That’s why you refused to reach out to me.”

The rock skin started to crush the wizard as she heard him cry out beneath the layers. Leaving him, she headed back to Arthur as he weakly watched her.

“The great and mighty, Arthur, reduced to letting his man servant fight for him. How the mighty have fallen.”

“Morgana.”

She turned back as Merlin stood behind her, sword in hand.

“Really, Merlin?” a disbelieving snort, “You’ve become so desperate you are using swords. Don you not realize I am a high priestess. No mortal blade can fell me.”

Merlin looked pained as he brought back the blade, stabbing Morgana through as she let out a surprised gasp of pain. Reaching out, she grabbed his shoulder as he mournfully explained, “This is no ordinary blade. It was also forged in dragon’s fire.”

Gently he laid her down as he pulled the blade free. Her vision swam as above she watched the silly servant boy’s lips move in apology.

But he was more than Arthur’s manservant. He was the one that had ended her: Morgana Pendragon, High priestess of the Triple Goddess. Last High Priestess.

But no matter how much she had clung to that title, to her power, in her final moments she realized it had never really been what she’d wanted. There had only ever been one thing she wanted for herself and she had lost that. Lost it by her own hands.

When everyone else had given up on her there had been one person who had never let her go.

Kara.

As she felt her life draining away a ringing filled her ears like a steady line of sound.

BEEEEEEEEEP

Her eyes closed as a coldness enveloped her. Pain coursed through her body, as her breath shook with the final death knell.

Kara.

____

Instead of black she saw white. In the midst of it stood Kara glowing like all the times before.

She was smiling as she held out her hand.

“Is this hell? Am I going to hell for all I’ve done?”

Kara’s smile did not falter as she stepped closer, “Would you expect to find me in hell?”

She shook her head.

“This is Avalon,” she motioned to the space around them, “I’ve come to take you home where we can be at peace, my love.”

Her smile was soft as she finally took Kara’s hand. It was firm in her own hand, not like when she’d imagined holding her hand all those other times. And it was warm, perfectly fitting with hers as their fingers interlaced.

“I’m sorry I made you wait,” her throat choked on the words, “I should have come sooner. I caused so much pain without you. I just felt so alone.”

“You’re not alone anymore.”

Keeping ahold of her hand together they walked into the light.

“Morgana.” (“Lena.”)

“Come back to me.” (Come back to me.”)

Two echoing voices sounded around her, but she only focused on the one in front of her. The only one that mattered.

“I’m coming, Kara.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in the real world

Alex called out to the medical team around her, “She’s’ flat lining, get me some atropine. Stat.”

Off to the side Kara was barely being held back by Brainy and J’Onn.

“You can’t do anything to help her,” stated J’Onn in reminder.

A moment later the heart monitor was back to a steady rhythm as Alex removed her face mask and joined the trio on the side. “We’ve stabilized her. For now. Physically she is fine, but the bullet did something to her mental state. I don’t know how to wake her up. Something is wrong with her mind. It seems to be that which is making her fade in and out.”

Kara’s chest rose as she got that look in her eyes like she was going to fix everything, “Just keep her body stable, I have an idea to help with her mind.”

She flew off before anyone had a chance to stop her.

Alex’s shoulders slumped as she looked back at Lena. She looked so pale, so helpless. Just a breath from death.

“Hurry, Kara. I don’t know how much longer she can hold on.”

To be continued…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this guys, but I will be taking a break for the fall and winter for IRL reasons. Think of it like a season cliffhanger, but I will be back with the final installments for this season then.  
> In the meantime I have a bunch more fics to hopefully tied you over in the meantime. (hopeful smile)  
> Thanks for the reads until then.
> 
> Until then, this is actually part of a series of series, so here is the collection of the first series if you haven't checked that out yet:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800259


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